Physical Therapy
by damageddementia
Summary: For Animal Luvr 4 Life. Dave was looking forward to working on getting back in the ring all by himself, but then Matt Hardy shows up to join him. One week, they'll see how it works, he says. What could go wrong- or right- in one week?
1. Unexpected Guest

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**This one's for Animal Luvr 4 Life, by 200th reviewer. I don't know how long it'll be; it won't be very long, but it will have a few chapters. This is a pairing I've never seen done before, but hey, I'm willing to give it a shot.  
**

**Day One; Unexpected Guest  
**

Dave Batista didn't expect to see Matt Hardy standing in his doorway. He wasn't the most social of wrestlers, and here was Mister Social Butterfly himself, the life of the party, at his door. But there he was, holding a duffel bag and smiling cheerily. "Hi Dave," he said, patting the bigger man's shoulder.

"Uh... hi, Matt," Dave said awkwardly, "I... what are you doing here?" Dave hadn't gotten any visitors in a while; he didn't want them. He wanted to do physical therapy in peace and quiet. But he was never one to be rude. Especially not to Matt.

"Well, I'm working on getting back into 100% health at home, when I realize that this could be a lot better if I did this with someone else," Matt explained, "Shawn and Mark are ALL the way in Texas, and I didn't want to hang out with Copeland, so... you're my choice."

"You want to... what, exactly?" Dave asked. Everyone liked Matt. He was everyone's friend. How exactly did he tell Matt he didn't want the company? Even though he kind of wanted Matt to stay, as well. Matt would always be the person who'd pull Dave into a dance at a party when he just sat in the corner, eating a plate of food. Matt would always include him in conversations. He was a total sweetheart, and he was cute to boot. Dave chastised himself- he can't think about him like that.

"Isn't it obvious? You and I are going to do Physical Therapy together," Matt said. "It'll be fun; you and me just working through our pain."

"Um..." he looked at Matt's bag. "How long are you planning on staying?"

Matt shrugged. "I dunno. Let's see how a week goes, then we'll talk about more. Unless you want to go to North Carolina instead; that'll be fine."

Dave didn't know what to say. Matt had a lot of nerve, not even calling to talk to him about it first; he just assumed it was okay. But this was Matt Hardy, sweet, proud, sexy Matt Hardy, and he thought this would be a good idea. What was he supposed to say?

Matt saw Dave's expression and said, "Was I being too presumptuous thinking that this could work?"

Dave laughed. Matt almost sounded innocent, saying that. "No, no... I think it's a great idea... why don't you come on in?"

Matt smiled and walked inside. Neither of them knew what the week would hold for them.

**********

Matt walked around Dave's house like a geek in a museum. He loved Dave's lunchbox collection, stared at the Samurai Armor for a few minutes, and loved the artwork. Dave had many people in his house before, but no one had ever was so intrigued by it.

"Where'd you get all this?" Matt asked, looking at his collection of weapons.

"Various places," Dave said, smiling.

"It's all so cool!" Matt opened a door and gasped. "You have a barbershop in your house!"

"Just one chair," Dave said.

"That's awesome!"

"Well... my Granddad was a barber... if I wasn't a wrestler, I'd probably be one too..."

"You can cut hair?" Matt asked. "I mean, like a professional?"

"Yes," Dave said, blushing harder than before.

"Dave, you look funny when you blush." Matt giggled. "But it looks good on you. So... can you do any type of hair?"

"From a shape up to a trim, my friend."

"Can you give me a trim?" Matt asked.

"What?"

Matt grabbed his ponytail, let it loose from the band, and showed him his hair. Dave watched, loving how soft Matt's hair looked. He wondered how it'd be like to run his hand through it- and then he shook his head. Even if Matt was gay, he had a whole pool of better guys to choose from. Dave was the guy who you invited to a party only if he overheard you inviting someone else; Matt was always invited first.

"I have been meaning to take care of the split ends for ages," Matt joked, "Well? Can you handle my hair?"

"I think I can manage," Dave said, "You want me to wash it first?"

Matt laughed. "I was just joking, Dave."

"Well, I'm not. You challenged my barber skills. Do you want me to wash your hair first?"

Matt laughed harder. "Well, why the hell not?" He ran a hand through his hair, and Dave wished he was the one doing it. Shoot, he had to stop thinking about Matt Hardy like that.

He washed Matt's hair (which was harder than it looked, because Matt's hair easily tangled) and then he brought him to the chair. He combed it, and then he cut the split ends. He thought he did a pretty good job on it.

Matt thought so too, and he smiled as he looked at it. "Maybe you should be a barber," Matt said, "Hair by the Animal..."

Dave laughed. "I'll keep that in mind."

"How much do I owe you?" Matt asked.

"What?" Dave asked, confused.

"Well, if Hair by the Animal is going to be a business, you need to start making money," Matt said, "How much?"

"Matt, I'm not going to charge you," Dave said.

"But you have to!" Matt said, "Such a good job deserves a reward!"

"Matt, if you give me any money, I will give you a Spinebuster," he warned.

Matt laughed. "Fine. But I make dinner, then."

"Deal. Just don't mess up my counter," Dave said.

*************

They had lunch afterwards (sandwiches, since they'd be working out soon enough) and then Dave took Matt to his gym room. Dave went to his barbell, but Matt grabbed his arms. "That has to be 400 pounds," Matt said.

"420, actually," Dave said, "Now, if you'll excuse me..."

"Dave, you shouldn't do that," Matt said.

"420's my best."

"And you're in healing, so you're not going to do your best." Matt pulled off some of the weights. "There. 250 for now."

"Matt, that's ridiculous," Dave said, "I can benchpress 420."

"Is that why you're so accident prone?" Matt asked, "Bite off more than you can chew, and your injuries never heal. Work your way back to 420."

"Matt, don't tell me what to do," Dave said, crossing his arms.

"Dave, don't kill yourself before you're able to come back," Matt said, crossing his arms. He sat on the weights and just stared at Dave.

Dave sighed. "You're not going to let me put the weights back on, are you?"

"No."

"But I have to exercise."

"Do it with the 250."

Dave began lifting the 250 weight. "You're stubborn, you know that?"

"I'm told it's one of my better qualities," Matt said.

"Is that so? Well then, I'd hate to see your worst."

"You already did," Matt said, "My ridiculously hard to manage hair."

Dave looked at him, but saw he was dead serious. Dave started laughing and Matt looked a little offended. "I was serious," he said.

"I know you were," Dave said, "But... Matt, your hair's so beautiful! How could you be so mean to it?"

Matt smiled. "Thanks. And I can be mean to it because it broke my brushes way too many times!" Matt grabbed a couple of dumbbells, sure Dave wasn't going to put some more weights on the barbell, and began slowly working out his arm muscles. Dave alternated between watching Matt and doing his own exercises. It was kind of hard to do both, but Dave managed, especially since he was lifting the 250.

Matt and Dave did a bunch of exercises, some together, some apart. And Matt always made sure to take down the intensity level Dave was going at; he didn't want Dave to overexert himself. Dave was always super intense, and sometimes that was a good thing, but not now. Not right after a surgery.

Dave half wanted to tell Matt he couldn't dictate what he was doing, but, when he was being smart, he realized Matt had a point. But he didn't have to be so pushy!

Matt sometimes noticed Dave's eyes on him, but he thought nothing of it. Matt was too used to being the center of attention. He was the guy who danced on tables at parties, who sang karaoke when no one else would... there were always eyes on Matt Hardy. He thought nothing of them.

**************

When Dave got out of the shower, he smelled something wonderful coming from the kitchen. Half of him wanted to run downstairs right there and then, but that would probably freak Matt out. That wasn't his intention at all. In fact, he wanted Matt to feel happy here. Lord knows, although the cocky brunette could drive you up the wall, he made Dave feel happy.

He got dressed and went downstairs, where Matt was finishing making spaghetti. He'd also made garlic toast, and Dave couldn't help but smile. Matt turned around and said, "Oh, hey Dave. Food's almost ready."

"Thanks." Dave got some lemonade out of the refrigerator, and he watched as Matt put the spaghetti on two plates. He could definitely get used to seeing Matt around here.

**Reviews deeply appreciated**


	2. The Tree

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**Yes, I will update my other stories soon. Just want to get this one off the ground before it gets lost in the woodwork.**

**Day Two: The Tree**

Dave woke up, something wonderful filling his nose again. Matt was going to kill him at this rate... it smelled SO delicious. He stood up and threw on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. He had no idea Matt could cook at all, and yet here he is, after making an amazing dinner, making breakfast for him.

Day Two; The Tree

He was probably going to learn loads about the elder Hardy before this week was over.

He walked downstairs and was surprised to find Matt fully dressed in non work out attire as he put the French toast on the table. "Morning!" He said cheerily. Dave groaned inwardly; Matt was a morning person. Dave just liked drinking coffee and eating breakfast quietly in the morning until he fully woke up.

"Morning," he mumbled, "What's with the get up? Can't work out in that."

"We're just going to be walking today," Matt said, handing him some coffee.

"To where?"

"The Washington monument."

"Why?" Dave asked.

"I've always wanted to see it," Matt answered, "Where's your syrup?"

"Bottom cabinet to the left. But come on. You can see it from the roof."

"That's not the same as seeing it up close," Matt said, getting the syrup, "And I also want to see the Lincoln memorial, and the World War II memorial..."

Dave shook his head. "Matt, why do you want to see a giant pencil? The Washington memorial is nothing special."

"I think you're wrong," Matt answered,sitting down and putting some syrup on his French toast.

"Matt, it's just a giant pencil," Dave said again, "Nothing fancy."

"So what? Sometimes the most beautiful things are the most simple," Matt said simply.

Dave sighed and just took the syrup. He wasn't going to win this argument. And who knows, maybe it could be fun. But he was left wondering if he could actually handle a week with Matt. Well, he was willing to find out.

********

After a long walk over to the Washington monument, Matt looked at it with the same rapt interest as he did Dave's lunch box collection. Dave couldn't help but smile as he looked at it with wonder.

"Don't you see how beautiful it is?" Matt asked. Dave shook his head. To him, it was just a giant pencil. Matt laughed. "That's sad. Just, look. Washington was the hero of America. He could have had whatever he wanted erected in his honor. He could've had a statue made, but no. He chose a simple obelisk. It's special because it isn't special; because he chose such a humble construction to honor him."

"I still think it's just a big stick," Dave said.

"If they ever made a monument for me," Matt said, "I'd just want a giant tree. One that makes fruit anyone could pick. And lots of shade, so they could eat fruit under a shady tree."

"Why?" Dave asked.

"So that way they don't have to look at my ugly face!" Matt joked.

"Matt, you have a whole legion of fangirls and boys who would slap you silly for saying that," Dave said, putting on a fake scolding tone.

"Seriously," Matt said, "It's just so fucking egotistical, to put up a useless statue of your own face. This obelisk could be a symbol of anything you'd want it to be; of freedom, of justice, of triumph..."

"I think I like your tree idea better," Dave said.

"Thanks. I like it too."

"It's better than a stupid pencil."

"Stop calling it a pencil!" Matt yelled. They laughed and went to the next place. Eventually, the ended up at the World War II monument, and Dave looked at all the names.

"It's sad, to see how many people died," Dave said.

Matt nodded, tracing one of the stars with his finger. "Could you imagine what was going through their minds?" he asked quietly.

"Not for a second... Matt, are you crying?" Dave asked.

Matt smiled softly. "No. But I feel like I'm gonna. It's so... I couldn't imagine it. Being in the middle of the field, fighting for what I thought was right in trenches and stuff, and then suddenly a bomb comes down... and then my Dad and Jeff would have to deal with me gone, and everyone I care about..."

Dave wrapped an arm around Matt. "It's not real. You're not one of them, and World War II was 60 years ago."

"I know, but... sometimes I think about stuff like that. Like, if it was my last day on Earth, what would I do?"

"What would you do?" Dave asked.

"I'd made sure everyone knew I loved them. Then, I'd go to the best theme park and go on every coaster until time was up," Matt said, "It's the closest I can get to flying, and... that's what I want. To fly."

"Like a bird?"

"Yes, like a bird." Matt looked at Dave. "Are you laughing at me?"

"No, it's just that I would've thought that would be Jeff's dream. You don't do much of that anymore," Dave said.

"I know. Sometimes I wish I would, though. I miss high flying," Matt said. "So, Mr. Animal, what about you? What would you do on your last day on Earth?"

Dave laughed. "I don't know. I'd have to think about that."

"Well, get back to me when you find out, okay?" Matt said. "Come on, I think I will cry if we stay here any longer!" Matt grabbed Dave's arm and began pulling him away. Even at it's most annoying, you had to admire Matt Hardy's spirit.

They walked around until they found some benches to have lunch. Matt was right; the walk itself was a gigantic workout. "Hey, Matt?"

Matt looked up, a piece of sandwich in his mouth. "Hmm?"

"Do you just make it up as you go, or is there a method to the madness?" Dave asked, "And if there is, can you tell me, so I could stop being surprised?"

Matt swallowed. "Nope. Sorry. I just make things up as I go, and, for the most part, they turn out well."

"Can we have at least one day when I'll know exactly what I'm going to do when I wake up?" Dave asked.

"Where's the fun in that?" Matt asked. He saw Dave's face, and he said, "Alright. Tomorrow, you choose what we do. Sound fair?"

"Yup." Dave took a bite. "Don't get me wrong, Matt, I'm having fun. But I'm used to more... structure. More routine. And a lot less spontaneity."

"Okay. We can do it that way. Whatever you're up to," Matt said.

"Thanks." Dave handed Matt one of the water bottles. "You know, you're my first."

"First what?"

"Visitor. Not once has any of the others come to see me," Dave said.

"I'm sure they were going to," Matt said, "Everyone likes you, Dave."

"Everyone likes you, Matt."

"And you too!" Matt said defensively. Dave found it hilarious that Matt was defending him from himself, "You're like everyone's big brother. You're the one we get advice from, the one we always know will stick up for us... you're awesome, man. And I bet everyone was going to visit you soon. Come with silly get well balloons and more food and beer than you'd know what to do with."

"Did they visit you yet?" Dave asked.

"That's different," Matt said, face turning pink, "Jeff's my brother. He'll always be a worrywort about me, just like I am about him. When you have the overbearing brother, he'll check up on you every night, and if you miss one call, he'd be on the first flight over."

"But they did visit you. Not me."

"Just Jeff," Matt said.

"You're lying to make me feel better," Dave said.

"No I'm not."

"Stop lying."

"Can't you just accept that they will get around to it?" Matt asked, caught in his lie. Yes, he got a LOT of visitors... all of which Jeff brought with him. But that was a different story. Jeff dragged them over, or they felt obligated because Jeff was going. Not because they chose to go see Matt.

Before Dave could answer, someone said, "Excuse me?" They looked up and saw a woman with three boys. "You're... Matt Hardy and Batista, right?"

Dave nodded, and Matt said yes. The youngest boy pushed forward and said, "See, Billy? I told you so! I knew it was them!"

Billy, the middle boy, said, "I knew it was them too."

The woman smiled. "My boys are big fans of the WWE. Can we please get some autographs?"

"Sure," Matt said. "Do you have a pen?" The woman pulled out a pen, and Matt and Dave signed their pamphlets. Soon, others noticed, and a bunch of other fans flocked over for autographs. Dave watched Matt easily fall into conversations with the fans, and wondered how he could talk to complete strangers so boldly. Dave was always afraid of saying something stupid and then getting in trouble with Vince.

But soon, Matt made him feel a little more brave, and he started talking to them too. He smiled, thinking that Matt made him feel calm. The tree idea was perfect for him.

The last fans, a couple of girls, both kissed them on the cheeks and took pictures. Matt would smile widely in each picture, like he was glad to be there. Dave put on the best smile he could, but it still made him look nervous.

"Ooh!" one of the girls squealed, "Matt, Batista, take a picture together for us! Please?"

Matt nodded and put an arm around Dave. Suddenly, Dave felt a sharp jab in his rib cage. "Smile, Dave!" Matt said, "Come on, put on a real smile!"

Dave laughed, and his smile grew. They took the picture, and, after they said goodbye, Dave whispered, "Wait."

The girls turned around and said, "Yes?" He wrote his email address on her pamphlet. "Send me that picture, okay?" he said, "And... you can email anytime. I will respond." She giggled widely and she and her friend left. Then, Dave ran to catch up with Matt.

He didn't know how he'd spend his last day on Earth, but this was kind of nice.

**Reviews deeply appreciated**


	3. Don't Fear the Reaper & Party Animal

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**Night four and Day five will be in the next chapter. Day three was kind of short, so I added it in, and what happened at the end of Day four will be in the next chapter. Don't worry; it's not much of a cliffhanger.  
**

**Day Three: Don't Fear the Reaper**

So, day three was completely planned out by Dave. And it was a normal day, by Dave's standards; a boring one by Matt's. Matt livened it up as much as possible, but Dave strictly followed what he planned out for the day, so the most Matt could do was add interesting conversation here and there. And you'd be surprised how little Dave wanted to talk during most of the activities.

But Matt did say Dave could completely control the day, so he let him have it. Dave, on the other hand, wasn't blind to how bored Matt was with his day. Dave didn't mean to bore Matt, but he just did the day how he usually did his days. It didn't occur to Dave that his usual days were meant for one person, not two. He appreciated how Matt didn't complain, but still wished that Matt had just been his usual pushy self and made them do something that made him really smile.

While Matt changed out of his workout clothes, Dave got an idea. Hunter had given him one for his birthday, but he never used it. This might be something that would make Matt genuinely happy.

Matt walked downstairs and saw Dave holding up a cheap plastic guitar. Matt laughed and said, "Is that Rock Band?" Matt asked.

Dave nodded. "Come on, you could be the guitar, I'll do the drums. What do you say?" Matt giggled, and Dave smiled- there was the smile he liked to see on Matt.

"Okay. Let's go." Dave put on _Don't Fear the Reaper_ by Blue Oyster Cult and he and Matt failed again and again at their attempts to complete the song at any level. Matt and Dave didn't care, though; they had too much fun in their attempts.

"One more time," Matt said, "We will finish this song." They started over, but Matt was unable to press the orange button at the right times, and Dave was unable to hit two of the platforms at the same time. They got about halfway through the song before they were booed out of the song.

"This time we will get it," Dave said. They kept trying the same song for the next hour, and they finally completed it, even though they barely did. They laughed and Dave said, "That machine is evil!"

"I think it might've been easier for us to buy a guitar and drum set and learn how to play that song from scratch," Matt said. He sat on the couch as Dave turned off his Playstation 3. "Hey Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you fear the Reaper?" Matt asked.

Dave turned around. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means," Matt said, stretching out, "Are you afraid of death?"

"Is this another one of those things you randomly think about?" Dave asked.

"Yup. Well, do you?"

Dave thought for a moment. "I guess. Like I said, I like knowing what I'm going to do. I don't know what's going to happen after I die. It's kind of scary, you know?"

"It's not that for me. I'm willing to face the unknown," Matt said, "It's actually better for me that way. I'd hate to find out right now 'Oh, Matt, we're going to send you to hell for stealing your mom's cookies and blaming it on Jeff and never telling her that it was actually you'."

Dave laughed. "They won't send you to hell for that. You practically raised him afterwards. I think you made it up to him."

"He won't see it that way," Matt said.

Dave sat on the couch, next to Matt, and said, "So what is it about death that makes you afraid?"

Matt looked down. "Hurting people."

"What?"

"You ever been to a funeral, Dave?" Matt asked, "They're depressing as shit. People crying and not talking and hugging each other like life rafts... it sucks. I'd hate to think I made a whole room of people that sad."

Dave really hadn't thought of that. In fact, when he thought about death, he thought about sleeping, maybe going to Heaven, or reincarnation. He never once thought about everyone else around him. "It's inevitable, Matt. When you make a lot of people happy with your life, you make the same amount of people sad with your death."

"I know. And what if I outlive all my friends?" Matt asked, "What if I'm the one who has to be in all the depressing as shit rooms? God, I'm torn up just thinking about it! But I guess it all goes down to how selfish you are. If you outlive them all, you're the one who does all the crying. If you die first, everyone will cry over you."

"Matt, it must be scary, in that head of yours," Dave said, unable to believe the guy who just laughed over their numerous failed attempts at Rock Band would suddenly think about death like that.

"I like it," Matt shot back. Dave laughed and grabbed Matt by his shoulders, pulling him into his arms.

"Then you're one scary guy," Dave said, "Now let's think about something other than our deaths and funerals, okay?" Matt smiled. He kind of liked how it felt, Dave hugging him.

Dave realized that he held him too long for it to be a 'stop thinking about that' hug and quickly moved away. The last three days had been so weird for him. He was sure now that he had real feelings for Matt, but he didn't want to try anything if Matt didn't want to go any further. He didn't want to scare him away.

"I think we still have to," Matt said.

"Why?"

"Because I'm about to hasten the hour of our death... I'm ordering Chinese," Matt said. Matt got up, and Dave started laughing. Matt was a trip.

**Day Four: The Party Animal**

Dave woke up an hour early. He wanted to wake up in peace, without Matt chattering with him, and he also wanted to be the one to make Matt breakfast this time. It almost felt like slave labor: besides the Chinese food, every meal they had was cooked by Matt. And this was Dave's house.

He went downstairs and cooked bacon and eggs. When Dave finished, he put some on plates and then went upstairs to wake up Matt. He was about to knock on the door on the guest room, but then he saw it was open a little. He looked inside and there Matt was, half naked, getting dressed.

Dave knew he should have looked away, but he just watched as Matt pulled on his clothes, seemingly more preoccupied with the mostly risen sun then his actual task. Dave didn't care; he just looked Matt over. His dark, soulful eyes were rich with childlike wonder, just staring at the sun like it was a treasure, like he did everything. Matt found everything to be a treasure, it seemed.

His long, dark hair cascaded over his face, curly and a little frizzy from sleeping. Dave's glance went lower to his chest and his tummy- he liked thinking that Matt would be a little soft. As soon as the shirt finally cover that, he looked at his legs as Matt shimmied his pants up. They were nice and tan and strong, and Dave wanted to-

Oh fuck. He looked down south, and realized that he couldn't let Matt catch him like this. Heck, he couldn't let Matt catch him spying outside his door. Dave ran to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. But the loud slam just caught Matt's attention.

"Hey, morning Dave!" he said cheerily, from the other side of the door. Dave wished he'd soften, praying Matt wouldn't hear how bothered he was.

"Morning," Dave said.

"What'd you make? It smells awesome!" Matt yelled.

"Eggs and bacon," Dave said.

"Great. You need any help setting the table?"

"No, it's handled." Finally, Dave was no longer excited, and he sighed in relief. He opened the door and Matt was already walking down the stairs. Dave followed until they got into the kitchen.

"Maybe you should cook more often," Matt said.

_And maybe you should close your door all the way_. Dave thought.

******

After their workout, Matt took some water from the sink when he noticed a card on the counter. He picked it up and it was about a nightclub that was open from nine to four. "Hey Dave?" he yelled out.

"What?" he said, wiping the sweat from his forehead.

"You've ever been to this place?" he asked.

"What place?"

"Um... the Cypress Club?" Matt said.

"Oh, no. A buddy of mine went, though. Said it was a good time." Dave looked at him. "Do you want to go?"

"Can we?" Matt asked.

Dave shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

Matt grinned. "This is going to be fun!"

*****

Dave and Matt went over to the bar as soon as they got there and Dave ordered a couple of drinks. A group of people was talking next to them, so Matt just turned to them and said, "What are we talking about?"

One of the guys grinned. "Redskins' prospects for next season. What do you think, buddy?"

Matt fell into the conversation easily, and soon they were all talking like old friends. Dave learned that none of these people really knew the other. There was one married couple, and the wife knew a lot more about football than her husband. There was a plumber, a guy who looked barely legal, a girl who was more interested in the plumber than the conversation, and a football fanatic. How could they just all strike up a conversation like that?

A song came on, and the wife squealed. "This is my song!" she grabbed her husband, but he shook his head no. She sighed and then grabbed the football fanatic and pulled him onto the dance floor. The girl decided to join them and she pulled the plumber along. The kid then turned to Matt and blushed. "Will you...with me..."

Matt laughed and grabbed his hand. "Come on." He blushed as Matt pulled him onto the dance floor. Dave watched as Matt slowly made the kid comfortable with him, and then they just began dancing to the song. The kid was even smiling now. Suddenly, Dave felt braver and he started walking over as the song changed.

Dave put a hand on the kid's shoulder and looked at Matt. "Can I cut in?" he asked. The kid nodded and let Dave pull Matt out of his hands. Matt smiled at the kid and said, "Thanks, Pete."

The kid, Pete, blushed and walked back to the bar. Matt then resumed to moving to the fast tempo beat, but then laughed when he saw Dave dancing. "Just relax," Matt said, "Dance like no one else matters. Because no one else does. It's just you right now." Matt put his hands on Dave's hips and just moved them to the beat. Soon, Dave got into the rhythm and no longer needed Matt's hands.

After a few songs, Dave was tired, alive but tired, so he touched Matt's shoulder and said, "I'm going to sit, okay?"

"You want me to go with you?" Matt asked.

"No... keep on having fun! I'll be back soon," Dave said. Dave went back to the bar and ordered another drink. Matt was about to follow, but then someone grabbed his arm.

"Hey there." Matt turned around and smiled at the man, although he didn't know him; it was a club, after all. "I'm Jake."

"Matt. Nice to meet you," Matt said.

Jake pulled him over and said, "You just looked so good there, standing all alone... dance with me?" Matt shrugged; why not?

Dave watched and he grew a little envious as the man, who obviously was a better dancer than him, pulled Matt into a dance. Of course Matt had better options. Why have the always breaking, can't dance for shit idiot when he could have, well, anyone?

Dave broke his eyes away from them and walked over to a group of guys talking at a table. Remembering how Matt joined a conversation earlier, he said, "What are we talking about?"

The closest guy to him laughed. "Not talking, big guy. Eating." He held up a tin full of brownies. "Want one? They have a special ingredient inside, if you catch my drift."

Dave took one and bit into it. It wasn't nuts, like he thought it was, but it was still good. So he chomped it down and they laughed. "Want to go fast, big guy?" the guy whose eyes were most bloodshot said, "How's about we have an eating contest, you and me?"

"I'm in," Dave said.

*****

The song changed to a slow song, and Jake pulled Matt closer so that there was very little room between them. Matt wrapped his arms around Jake's neck and they both just swayed, neither taking the lead. "You're so gorgeous," Jake said, his hand grabbing Matt's ass. Matt laughed a little nervously, and then took the hand off of his backside.

"None of that," he said.

"Come on, baby. You have such a sweet ass..." Jake's hands went back to his ass, and he said, "We could have fun tonight, just you and me... a little private party..."

"You're drunk and I don't go home with strangers," Matt said, pushing him away.

"Well, I wasn't strange enough to dance with," he said.

"There's a BIG difference between dancing and fucking!" Matt shouted.

"You're a fucking tease."

"And you're an ass," Matt said. He couldn't get into it with this guy; Vince would go fire happy if an incident happened with one of his Superstars that he could get blamed for. Matt just walked away, and Jake said, "Come on! Don't be like that!"

Matt shook his head. He just wanted to get Dave and get out of here before he got into a fight with the idiot. He finally found Dave at a table, but had to hold back laughter; Dave was as high as it gets. "What happened?" he asked.

"You're his friend?" the guy asked. Matt nodded, and he said, "Big guy ate like, thirteen brownies. I thought he knew they had weed in them... and the guy's a lightweight, started talking about fairy lights after his fourth brownie..."

"We wanted to cut him off, but he insisted, and he's kind of scary," another guy added.

Matt walked over to Dave, who was staring at the sky. "Hey Dave," Matt said, "Dave!"

Dave looked at him and smiled. "Mah-att, look! The rainbow's so pretty! Rainbow... Jeff! Your brother's here! Did you say hi?"

Matt laughed. "Yes I did. Let's go, Dave."

"But I want another brownie," Dave whined.

"Maybe later," Matt said, pulling the big guy up.

"Holy cow," Dave said, "Since when was your hair so dark? Like chocolate. MMM, chocolate brownies. Mah-att, can I get a brownie?"

"Later," Matt repeated. He began to pull him away, but then he saw Jake coming. Fuck, God couldn't just throw him a bone while he tried to get his extremely big, extremely high friend home?

"I thought you didn't take people home," Jake said.

"No, just you," Matt said sarcastically, "I'm just a gigantic bitch like that. Move out of the way."

"The guy's stoned anyway, just ditch h-"

Dave looked forward and saw a beast like the one from the cover of Where the Wild Things are heckling Matt. He pulled away from Matt and punched the monster dead in the face. He fell to the ground and brought his hands to his nose.

"Holy shit," Matt said, seeing Jake bleed. If they were recognized, they were in deep shit. "Come on, Dave, let's go." He pulled the high Superstar around Jake, hurrying out as fast as possible.

**Reviews deeply appreciated**


	4. All Kinds of Highs & Friends?

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.****  
**

****

Night Four: All Kinds of Highs

Matt tried his best to lead Dave out of the club, but, suddenly, he was whisked off his feet. Dave picked Matt up and slung him over his shoulder. "Dave!" Matt gasped, "What the hell are you doing?"

Dave looked down at the red carpeted floor. "The floor's lava. I have to protect you so you can get me more chocolatey goodness. Mm, chocolate. I like brownies. You have to get me more brownies, Mah- att. So no lava."

Matt paused before laughing his ass off. "What about you?"

"I ate a lot of brownies, so they'll protect me. The brownie god wants me to have more, so I can't die," he said.

Matt just snickered as he was carried to the car. Dave was about to throw him into the back seat, but Matt said, "Wait!" He couldn't let Dave drive.

"Why?"

Matt grinned. "There's chocolatey goodness waiting for you in the backseat."

"Really?"

"Yeah." Dave gently put down Matt and jumped in the back.

"Mah- att, where is it?"

"Keep looking, you'll find it," Matt said, closing the back door and going to the front.

*******************

Dave still hadn't found the chocolatey goodness when they got back to his house finally (Matt got lost twice), so Matt ran inside, found the closest thing Dave had visually to a brownie (a piece of meatloaf), and gave it to him. Dave gladly took it and began gobbling it up, under the impression that it was a brownie.

Matt got Dave into the house and suddenly found himself hoisted on Dave's shoulder again. "There's no lava!" Matt yelled, laughing a little, "Dave, put me down. Come on."

But Dave didn't listen to him. He just kept carrying him up to his room. When he got there, he gently sat Matt down on the bed and sat next to him. He stared at Matt for a little, and Matt suddenly grew uncomfortable. He didn't know what high Dave was thinking, and he wasn't too sure he'd like it.

"Dave?" Matt asked. Dave then put his hand on Matt's face.

"I'm so glad you came, Mah- att," he said, tracing his jawline.

"I'm glad I'm here too," Matt said, "Dave, really, what're you doing?"

"Mah- att..." Dave cupped his chin. Matt blushed and pulled his chin out of Dave's hands.

"You think I'm an oversized brownie, dontcha?" Matt laughed. "Weed does crazy stuff to people."

"I know who and what you are." Dave leaned forward, and Matt suddenly realized that Dave was looking at him with the same eyes Jake had before he tried to put his hands on Matt's ass. Matt leaned back, and Dave looked at him, a little upset.

"Dave, relax," Matt said, "Just get some sleep and we'll talk in the morning..."

"I don't want you to feel uncomfortable," Dave mumbled, "Not like the monster made you feel."

"Dave, I..." Matt looked into Dave's eyes and saw longing in there.

"Please," he said, "I want to, but not if you don't want to."

"Want to what?" Matt asked, "Dave, wh-"

Dave just lost all control. He pushed forward and softly pressed his lips into Matt's. Matt was surprised, and he didn't know what to do. Dave pulled away and said, "You make me want to do that. You're so special, Mah- att. One of a kind."

Matt laughed hollowly. "Me? _Seriously_? Dave, I'm anything but. You're the special one. You walk into a room, everyone notices. You have it. You don't have to do anything else; you just have that special quality. Me? I'm only noticed because I make people notice me... because I do things that get me noticed. You're the diamond... I'm just a rock pretending to be more than it actually is."

Dave put an arm around Matt. "I think you're pretty damn amazing." Then, he lay his head into Matt's chest, pushing him down. Matt lifted his head up as high as possible and saw Dave had fallen asleep on his stomach.

He sighed. Damn those brownies for making Dave say those things. And it felt kind of nice to hear them. Matt shut his eyes and thought about what he said. He liked Dave a lot, that was true... and, if Dave kissed him again, he was pretty sure he might have kissed back. But that would be taking advantage of him. Sure, Dave said all those things, but people said and did crazy things when they were high. He could still vividly remember the time he woke up, arms tangled around Jeff and Shannon, and his father told them that they almost all got Shane's name tattooed on their hips.

So he might like Dave. Problem? Dave probably didn't feel the same way. And why would he have feelings for a stupid little attention whore anyway?

****

Day Five: Friends?

Dave slowly began to wake up, pretty satisfied with his pillow. It was more comfortable than it usually was. But, as full alertness set, Dave realized he was NOT on a pillow, but on Matt's stomach.

Matt smiled weakly as Dave sat up, confused as hell. "Morning," he said.

"What the hell happened last night?" he asked.

"You ate thirteen hash brownies," Matt answered.

"I... I what?" Dave said. He put his hand on his head. "Holy fucking shit." He looked up a little and smiled weakly and Matt. "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No. But I could've done without you using me as a pillow," Matt said. He sat up and stretched. "That's the last time I take you out clubbing, Mister. Don't you know that when they say they have 'special ingredients' in brownies, they mean weed?"

"I wasn't thinking straight," Dave admitted. How could he, watching Matt dance with another guy? "So, what happened? I didn't pull you away from your friend, did I?"

"What fr- you mean Jake?" Matt asked, "Dave, Jake was an asshole. Don't worry about that."

"Did he hurt you?"

"More like you hurt him," Matt said.

"Did he _really _deserve it?"

"Yes."

Dave smiled. "Then I'm glad."

Matt looked away; it almost hurt to look at Dave, especially after last night. Matt would do anything to be able to forget it like Dave did. But it was Matt's own fault; he was the one who came down here. He was the one who decided to do this with Dave. He couldn't punish Dave because HE was the idiot who decided to come down here and stay with him when he had this feeling for him...

"Are you sure you're okay?" Dave asked.

Matt grinned. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm going to go make br-"

Dave shook his head. "I was the idiot who got high last night so we both had to sleep in our uncomfortable clothes. Go take a shower. I'll make breakfast."

"Dave..."

"Matt, I insist," he said. Matt nodded and went to the bathroom.

Dave sighed. Matt must have thought he was an idiot. He got high and then he fell asleep on Matt. Dave was beyond embarrassed. How could Matt want to stay here anymore? It was probably because he told Dave a week, to see how things go. He was too kind to leave.

Two more days, and Matt would probably be gone. And Dave didn't like the idea of waking up without that bubbly brunette at the breakfast table.

*************

The workout was a quieter affair than they were used to. Sure, Matt did a lot of chatting again, but not as much as before. And Dave noticed, and knew why- it was because Matt was disgusted with Dave after last night.

Matt tried to cover up his own little heartbreak, because he didn't want Dave to realize that Matt liked him, and then have to put poor Dave through the 'putting him down gently' phase.

Finally, Dave had enough. He stopped lifting the weight and walked over to Matt, snatching his dumbbells. "What are you doing?" Matt asked.

"You're not yourself," Dave said.

"Then who am I?" Matt asked.

"You know that's not what I mean," Dave said, "Did I really screw up that badly last night that being around me is this bad?"

Matt stared at Dave, shocked. "You didn't screw up!"

"Then why are things so different between us?" Dave asked. Matt looked down, and Dave shook his head. "Talk to me, Matt. Please. How can I fix this?"

"You didn't do anything wrong," Matt said.

"Then why are you so distant?" Dave asked.

Matt just said the first thing that popped into his head besides mentioning the kiss. "I'm planning a surprise for you," he said.

Dave's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Really. To thank you for letting me stay at your house." Matt looked up and sighed with relief when he saw that Dave bought it.

Dave smiled. "Matt, you haven't once messed up my house and you cook. You don't need to do anything for me."

"But I want to," Matt said.

Dave laughed and handed Matt back the dumbbells. "Now that your secret's out in the open, can we go back to the way things were?" Dave asked.

We can't. Because I think I like you. "Yeah," Matt said, "So, is there anything more unnatural than hockey in California?"

Dave looked at him, confused. "Where the hell did that come from?"

"I just thought of it."

"Matt Hardy, you are so random sometimes," Dave said, "And yes, there is."

"What?" Matt challenged.

"You and me trying to play _Don't Fear the Reaper_."

****************

Matt was able to get into a normal routine soon enough, but he had to give Dave a surprise now. He looked through Dave's cupboards and was glad to find that Dave had everything he needed. He got to work as soon as he could, hoping to finish before Dave could catch him.

He wanted Dave to be happy, that much he knew. He also didn't want to put him into a position where he'd have to tell Matt that they were just friends. At this rate, all he wanted to do was to get the week over with and then tell Dave he had family obligations or something. Anything to get away from him.

But Matt wondered why he came down here in the first place. Sure, Adam could be mean, but it wasn't like he hated Adam; he could've easily worked out with him. And now that he thought about it, he wouldn't have had much of a hassle getting to Mark or Shawn in Texas. But he came to Dave's. All the excuses he made before about coming here seemed stupid now, like lies; in reality, he just wanted to see Dave again.

"Hey, Matt, what're you..." Dave walked in as Matt pulled his 'surprise' out of the oven. "Those better not have weed in them."

Matt grinned as he put the brownies out to cool. "Nope. This time, the special ingredient actually is nuts."

"How'd you know I liked brownies that much?" Dave asked.

"You ate thirteen of them last night," Matt pointed out.

"Oh, right." Dave looked at the tray. "And I'm supposed to have thirteen again?"

"There's twelve, and we're sharing." Matt said.

"Yeah, but... doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of us working out today?" Dave asked.

"I used imitation sugar," Matt said.

"Cool. Well, the sooner we have dinner, the sooner we have those," Dave said.

*************

After dinner, Dave picked up the brownie tray and went to the living room. He flipped through the channels until he found a movie. "Hey, Matt, have you seen this movie?"

"What movie?" Matt asked, walking over.

"_The Lost Boys_."

"Parts of it. I know the Coreys are in it."

"Well, want to see it?"

"Sure," Matt said. As he sat next to Dave, they both thought one thing. _Two more days, and then I'll no longer have to see him. A blessing and a curse._

**Reviews deeply appreciated**


	5. To Fly

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**Does Dave have cousins in Virginia? I dunno. He does in this story, though.****  
**

**Day Six: To Fly**

When Dave woke up, he found himself thinking about how much better it felt inside to wake up with Matt there. Sure, physically, it was uncomfortable... but waking up to Matt's warm, easy smile made things so much better.

This could be the last full day he and Matt spent together. The idea, although he was hoping for it, upset him greatly. It almost felt like... He couldn't explain it. Before, when it was just Dave and his weight, life was great. But it seemed nothing compared to what having Matt over did for him, having someone to joke with, talk to, have fun with...

But there was no way Matt felt the same. And if Matt knew what his 'friend' wants to do with him, he would be shocked. He wouldn't want to stay, and things would get awkward. Dave would keep Matt as a friend.

He knew how much Matt loved variety and spontaneity, so Dave decided to give it a try. He got dressed and knocked on the Guest Room door. "Wake up!" he shouted out.

"I am awake!" Matt called back.

"Well, get dressed. We're going out."

"We haven't even had breakfast yet!"

"Forget breakfast! We'll pick up something on the way!" Dave yelled.

"Well, where are we going?" Matt asked.

"I'll tell you when I find out," Dave said.

A few seconds later, Matt opened the door, an irrepressible grin on his face, fully dressed. "That's the kind of outing I love."

*************

After getting some stuff from a Dunkin Donuts, Matt and Dave walked around aimlessly, not even sure where they were going. "Why do we need to hike everywhere?" Dave asked.

"Exercise," Matt answered, "And you see so much more of the world on two feet then in a car." Matt grinned. "You could miss so much. You don't want to be the guy that doesn't know his own home."

"You live in Cameron, Matt. I think our two hometowns can't be compared in terms of exploration."

"Why not?" Matt asked, "A place is just a place, whether it's a city, country, or suburb, and you should explore every acre of it." But, eventually, even Matt decided wandering around would be better done in a car, and they went back and got Dave's car.

As they passed the monuments, Dave thought about what Matt said at the WWII memorial, and he got an idea. He drove to the highway and Matt said, "Finally know our destination, big guy?"

"Yes."

"Care to enlighten me?" Matt asked.

Dave grinned. "No."

Matt pouted. "Why not?"

"Because, Hardy, this time, it's my turn to surprise you," Dave said.

Matt laughed. "You surprise me all the time," he said softly. Dave looked at him, caught off guard by the simple statement, and Matt said, "Eyes, road, bum!"

"There's a bum in the road?" Dave said, eyes whipping back to the front, ready to swerve.

"No, Dave... I meant you're a bum... wait!" Too late. Dave swerved the car, and they went off the road to the metal guard rail. The car hit it, and Matt and Dave were propelled forward, heads hitting the dashboard.

Dave looked up, expecting Matt to look upset, but he was laughing. Dave started laughing too, and they kept laughing until someone behind them honked their horn. Dave and Matt controlled themselves and Dave began driving again.

"I don't know if we can trust an animal behind the wheel," Matt said. Dave laughed again, and Matt started laughing as well.

About an hour later, Matt said, "Do you REALLY know where we're going?"

"Please, Matt, relax," Dave said, "I used to go here all the time for Thanksgiving. You'll see."

"At this rate, we'll be in Carolina territory," Matt looked around for a road sign, to see if they were, indeed, in Carolina territory.

"No, we're in Virginia," Dave said, "And it's just a few more minutes. Imagine if we walked here."

"Never," Matt said. Dave got off the highway, but it was a rural part of Virginia. Not exactly high on the tourist attraction list. Dave drove for a while and all Matt could see was grass and trees until they eventually got to a house. Dave drove in and motioned for Matt to follow him.

"This is where my cousins live," Dave explained, "I came up here when I was younger, back when Aunt Delia was still alive, and I'd play with her sons, my cousins Amado and Paris." Dave knocked on the door, and a thin man opened the door. Matt could see some similarities between Dave and him, but not a lot; probably because of Dave's muscles and this guy's... lack of them.

"Well, if it isn't the animal himself." He crossed his arms. "I was beginning to think you thought you were too good for us."

"Who are you to say that? You never call or write either," Dave snapped back. Matt looked down, trying to avoid the family scuffle. But then, Dave and the man embraced each other. "Paris, you look good!"

"You too, Davie!" Paris laughed. "And whose this behind you..." Matt looked up and smiled at him; since there would be no fight, he could be his normal, friendly self.

"Hi, I'm..." Matt started, holding out his hand, but Paris' eyes widened and he started shouting something in a language Matt didn't understand. Another guy ran out, not as thin as Paris but not as muscular as Dave, and he gasped.

"You're Matt Hardy!" the guy- who Matt rightly guessed was Amado- said. He grabbed Matt's hand and pulled him into a hug. "Damn, Davie, what a surprise!"

Matt hugged back, laughing. "You guys are fans?"

"Paris likes your brother better, but I know it's Mattitude all the way!" Amado did the V1 symbol, and Matt laughed. "Dude, you SO should've won at Backlash and went on to take the title from Edge. That would've been awesome!"

"But Jeff took it, so there!" Paris said.

"He had it for three seconds. Matt would've kicked that scrub's ass, even after winning a ladder match." Amado turned back to Matt. "Would it be too much to ask for an autograph?"

"No," Matt said, although Dave shot him a look. Paris wanted one too, and Matt signed them both. Then, they remembered their manners and invited them inside. Paris got them some water, and they began talking.

"My favorite wrestlers are Jeff and Rey now," Paris said, "I love the high fliers."

"Paris does a swanton bomb everyday before work," Amado said, "Just takes the lift a little up and jumps onto the cushion..."

"What's your job?" Matt asked.

Paris and Amado grinned. "We sometimes do wirework for small time movies and stuff like that," Paris explained, "But mostly, we give bungee jumping lessons."

Matt's eyes lit up, and Dave grinned. He knew Matt would hit it off immediately with them. "Really? That sounds awesome."

"It is," Amado said, "We teach a few miles up, right over this giant cushion, in case of incidents. You have no idea how many people pay to be a yo yo for a few minutes."

"How much is it?" Matt asked.

"Interested?" Paris asked.

"Very!" Matt said. Paris clapped.

"Good man. My guess is that's why Davie brought you up here."

Dave laughed a little. "Yup. Do you mind?"

"Mind?" Amado said, "Davie, it would be AN HONOR to have Matt Hardy use one of our Bungee cords."

Paris sniffed. "You are such a-" Matt didn't catch what he said next; it was in another language.

"You know you'd act the same if it was stupid Jeff," Amado snapped. Then, remembering he was sitting near his brother, he said, "No offense."

"None taken." Matt shrugged. "I've heard worse. Jeff has thick skin, don't worry about it."

After some more talk, they got in the car and drove up to the crane they used. Matt turned to Paris and said, "So, how much is it?"

Paris shook his head. "You get the family discount because of Dave. Don't worry about it."

"Family discount means free," Amado explained.

"But I wouldn't feel..." Dave put his hand on Matt's shoulder, cutting him off. "Take it," Dave insisted. He looked at Amado. "Tell him, man. What's the closest man could get to flying?"

Matt turned and looked at Dave, caught off guard by what he said. He barely heard Amado's answer (bungee jumping, of course). He was just touched by the fact Dave remembered his fondest dream: to fly.

Matt went up on the lift with Paris, while Amado and Dave watched. As soon as Matt was strapped in, he went to the edge and Paris said some words of support. But Matt needed none. He was willing to dive right down. Matt now wanted to give Dave his greatest wish, but he had no idea what it was.

Jumping was the greatest feeling Matt ever experienced. Better than anything he'd ever done. The higher the better. And this jump was no exception; it filled Matt with exhilaration and happiness. He rode the wave of euphoria as he was snapped back, and he started laughing and letting out a Whoo! every now and then.

"He's a natural!" Amado said, clapping. Dave grinned. It made him so happy, to see Matt that happy. "So, Davie, are we getting you in that harness?" Amado asked innocently.

"Bite me, 'Mado," he said.

********************

Matt and Dave said goodbye to Amado and Paris a few hours later, after Matt, Paris, and Amado all jumped a few times. Dave didn't, and they all teased him, but he didn't care; he came here so Matt could fly. "You're welcome back anytime," Paris said, "I always love it when people truly enjoy jumping, and, well, you have the bug."

Matt nodded. "I love it."

Amado gave Dave a five and whispered, "You've never brought a friend up here. Don't pretend I don't see it, Dave."

"See what?" Dave said.

Amado laughed. "Go ahead, deny it. But I know." He looked over at Matt, who was talking to Paris now about moves he and Jeff used to do back in the Team Xtreme days. "He's a good guy, Cuz. Don't let him go."

"You just met him!" Dave said.

"But I know good guys when I see them," Amado grinned. "I mean it: don't let him go." Dave looked down.

"I might have to," he said, watching Matt walk over.

"Well, ready?" he asked.

"Yup." Dave looked at him sadly, thinking about how much he wanted to keep him with him, never let him go. But it was better if he did. When they got in the car, Matt hugged him tightly.

"Thank you," he said, "I'll never forget this, Dave. Thank you."

"Anytime," he said, hugging Matt back. He couldn't believe it. This time tomorrow, he'd be gone. And Dave would miss him so much.

**Reviews deeply appreciated**


	6. Matt Says Goodbye

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**Once again, I know nothing of their real lives. I have no idea if Matt or Dave can do or have done anything I say they've done. And I don't really care... welcome to fanfiction, folks. Once again, thank you all. I had no idea how popular this would turn out, and it seems to be received really well. I wasn't sure about Matt and Dave either... but after Day One formulated itself, I knew these two idiots could do it. I know, I should be updating other stuff... but this one wouldn't leave me alone the two weeks I was gone... in Virginia, of all places! I passed by an actual bungee lesson over there and I fell into a fit of giggles. My Aunt looked at me like I was insane... and I think I may well be. Well, without further ado, day seven.**

**Day Seven: Matt says Goodbye**

Dave woke up and slowly got ready. He wasn't in a hurry to go downstairs; he'd just feel the sting of Matt's eventual departure. He went downstairs and Matt had already finished breakfast. Another thing he'd miss.

Matt smiled at him and said, "Morning. Sit down and enjoy."

Dave did as he was told and slowly ate his breakfast, taking a few moments to appreciate just what Matt brought to his life. He didn't want him to go, but he didn't want him to stay... he didn't want to see guilt enter his pretty brown eyes as he said, 'No, Dave, you can't be in love with me. We're friends and friends only.'

"You okay?" Matt asked, finished before Dave was.

"Yeah... just a little tired," he grumbled. Matt smiled and patted his shoulder.

"There's some coffee in the pot. See if it helps." Matt stood up. "I'm going to pack my bag. If you need anything, you know where to find me." Matt walked away, and Dave watched, a protest dying before he could even form it. Matt would always be beyond his reach.

He slowly finished his breakfast and then went to his room. He punched the wall and stifled back a cry. He loved Matt so much... he didn't want him to leave. Ever. _I have to get my mind of off this._

He went to his computer and decided to check his email, hoping it could get his mind off of it. There was some junk mail, an email from Hunter asking for an update on how close he was to getting medically cleared, some fan mail. But out of all the emails he had, only one message caught his eye: THE PICTURES!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dave clicked it and saw it was from the fan. She took many pictures before she took the picture of Matt and Dave when they were ready, including Matt elbowing him to make him smile. There was one of Matt and Dave walking over to each other, one before Dave smiled, and one after. There were a few of them getting ready for the picture. The girl obviously went trigger happy, but Dave didn't care. The pictures made him grin, but then he remembered; Matt was going to leave today.

But Dave just kept looking up at the picture, of how Matt made him smile, and he knew he couldn't let Matt leave. He walked to Matt's room and flung open the door, seeing Matt pack his bag.

Matt turned around and grinned. "Hey, Dave. Just trying to make sure..."

Dave grabbed Matt's arm and took it off the bag. Matt just let him, surprised, and Dave sat him on the bed. "What's going on?" Matt asked.

"Matt, I need... I need you to listen," Dave said. "And try to understand everything I'm saying. This last week was something else. At first, I wasn't even sure that I wanted you here..."

Matt looked at him, confused. "You didn't want me here?"

Dave smacked his head. "I didn't mean it that way..."

"Then what do you mean?" Matt asked, "Because it sounds like you said you didn't want me here. Well, if you didn't want me to stay, you should've just said so..."

"Matt!" Matt jumped, and Dave said, "Listen to me."

"Why should I?" Matt asked, "If I was such an annoyance..." He tried to stand up, but Dave grabbed his shoulders and sat him back down.

"Did I say you were an annoyance?" Dave asked, "Listen to me." He gulped. "I wasn't sure I wanted you to stay... but I'm glad you did. Because every day I spent with you was so amazing, whether I was high or sober, whether we were exercising or playing Rock Band or dancing. Because you're amazing. Because if I let you leave without saying this, I will regret it forever. If you leave, we pretend that we're friends again."

"Dave, I never pretended to be your friend," Matt said, "I like you a lot."

"But I'm not your friend. Because you mean so much more to me." Dave touched Matt's cheek and smiled. "I love you, Matt." Matt's mouth opened in shock. He didn't say anything, just taken aback by what he said. "I know you're probably thinking of a nice way to let me down, but I really do love you. Everything about you. I-"

Dave never got to finish. The next thing he knew, Matt had his arms around his neck, and he was kissing him passionately. Dave was surprised, but then he wrapped his arms around Matt's waist and returned the kiss. Dave prodded at Matt's lips with his tongue, and Matt opened his mouth, but didn't let Dave dominate him. Their tongues played around, neither submitting to the other.

Then, they pulled apart. "I love you too," Matt said breathlessly.

Dave grinned. "You... you mean it?"

Matt nodded. "I wanted to tell you, but I thought... there was no way you could feel the same about me."

Dave laughed. "I thought the same thing. Boy, we're a bunch of idiots."

"And to think, if we just said something, we could be doing more of this..." Matt pushed forward and pulled Dave into another breathtaking kiss. Dave grabbed his ass and pushed him closer, making Matt groan in his mouth. Dave smiled, loving how Matt's voice sounded... especially when he's excited.

"We are so very stupid..." Dave whispered. Matt laughed and sat on the bed, and Dave sat next to him.

"I'll still need to go home, you know," he said.

Dave stared at him. "Why?"

"I have to pick up some more clothes, if I'm going to stay here," Matt said. "I can't wear the same clothes week after week."

"Fine," Dave said, "I'm going with you."

Matt laughed and shook his head. "You don't want to go home with me."

"Yes, I do," Dave said, "It's only fair... you've been to my house, I go to yours."

"You've been to my house before," Matt said, "Many times."

Dave nodded and then put a hand on Matt's thigh. "Yes I have... but only when we were surrounded by people and you were throwing a party. I want it to be you, me, and your house, like it looks naturally."

"The drive is far."

"We drove to Virginia yesterday," Dave reminded him, "I don't mind long car journies."

"It's not clean."

"I don't care." Dave smiled. "I'm going, Matt. Now that I know how you feel... I don't want to be away from you for a single moment."

Matt grinned. "Alright then, we can go as soon as..."

Dave shook his head. "We're going tomorrow."

"Why tomorrow?"

"Because today we're doing this." Dave pulled Matt onto his body and pushed their lips together again. Matt was kissing him back, and every single negative feeling he felt earlier today was out of his body. All that mattered was that he had the most amazing guy on top of him, kissing him and making him groan with his hands. Dave returned every grope and kiss with equal fervor, and Matt wondered what he did to get so lucky.

"God, I love you," Dave whispered.

"Right back atcha, big guy."

**Day Seven: Matt says Goodbye... and then decides to stay**

**Reviews deeply appreciated**


	7. Cheeney

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**Once again, I know nothing of their real lives. I have no idea if Matt or Dave can do or have done anything I say they've done. And I don't really care... welcome to fanfiction, folks. Once again, thank you all, readers and reviewers, and this is day eight.**

**Day Eight: Cheeney**

Matt woke up first, and he found himself immobile. Dave's arm was around him, not letting him move at all. And then he grinned, remembering last night. Although they just fooled around a little, clothes all on, he and Dave were together now. And they slept in the same bed without Dave being high as shit and his head not pinning Matt to the bed.

"Dave, wake up," Matt said, shaking the older man. Dave made a sound that obviously meant he didn't want to rise and shine. Matt shook him again and then decided to go the sneaky route. He leaned into Dave's shoulder and started kissing it softly. Dave moaned, and then Matt got rougher, nipping just hard enough to redden the skin.

Dave woke up and pulled Matt on top of him. "That's no fair."

"I never said I played fair," Matt said, with the fakest innocent voice ever.

Dave laughed and said, "No, you didn't. Now, why don't you get ready while I get us some breakfast?"

"Right," Matt said. Dave was coming with him home. And Matt wasn't superstitious, but he had a bad feeling about this. "How about we just skip it?"

"Matt, you need the clothes, remember?"

"Then you'd probably have more fun staying here..."

"We had this conversation," Dave said, "I'm going, end of story." He kissed Matt quickly and said, "It's not like I've never shown you the inside of my house."

Matt sighed. "I'm not going to win this, am I?"

"Now you know how I feel," Dave said. He ran a hand through Matt's hair and said, "Is it really so bad that I want to see your home? Or that I don't want to split from you after finally admitting how I felt?"

"No," Matt said. He got off of Dave and said, "Have you ever had the feeling something was going to go horribly awry?"

"Yes. It was the day they told me Randy was going to punt me in the head." Matt shook his head and laughed.

"Too true, too true," Matt said, remembering the day he was told he was going to get punted. He still winced at the memory.

"Hey Matt?" Matt turned around.

"What?"

"What's the worst that could happen?" he asked.

"Oh GREAT, you've doomed us," Matt said. He left the room in an exaggerated mad way. Dave chuckled.

"And that's all mine," Dave said, smiling, "Sometimes, you do get lucky."

*************

When they finally got there, Matt was ready to just grab some stuff and go. He opened the door, told Dave to make himself at home, and then went for the stairs.

"Holy shit!" While Matt was on the stairs, a dog ran to Dave and began clawing at Dave's leg. "Get it off! It's rabid!"

Matt ran downstairs to see what the fuss was about. "Dave, he's not an it! He is my baby!" Matt walked over and picked up Lucas, who licked him happily. "Hold up, I want to introduce you to someone."

"You have something you want to tell me?" Dave asked.

"What do you mean?" Matt asked.

"How did you have a dog baby? If you didn't notice, you're human..."

Matt frowned. "Dave, that's disgusting. Now, meet Lucas. And Lucas, this is Dave."

"Hi Lucas," Dave said awkwardly. Lucas happily went back to licking Matt, obviously missing his friend. "Matt, I think Lucas and I aren't going to get along."

"Why's that?" Matt asked.

"Well, he seems to like kissing you, and I like it too, and we can't do it at the same time..."

"Well, Lucas came first," Matt said, "I kind of belong to him. It all depends on whether he minds sharing."

Dave bent a little to look at Lucas. "What do you say? Can I have Matt some of the time?" Lucas licked his nose, and Dave took that to mean 'My Matt is your Matt'.

"I take that back, Lucas and I will get along great," Dave said.

***********

Dave played with Lucas on the couch while Matt was upstairs. Lucas was as friendly as a dog got, and, even though he wasn't as affectionate as he was with Matt, he was still pretty lick happy.

Then, he heard the door open. Dave stood up, already on alert. Matt was upstairs... who was that?

Dave walked around and saw a man in Matt's kitchen. The man looked at him and they both, at the same time, shouted, "Intruder!" The man grabbed a broom and Dave walked forward, not afraid. Physically, he knew he could take him.

Matt was upstairs when he heard a loud yell. He sighed and left his room. He ran downstairs to the kitchen. "What is with the yell- what the fuck?" Dave was holding the broomstick now, and the man and he were fighting over the broomstick. "What the fuck's going on here?"

"Intruder!" Dave and the man yelled. They looked at each other. "You're the intruder!"

"There's no damn intruder!" Matt said. He snatched the broom and said, "Dave, meet the Legend, my Dad. Dad, meet Dave Batista, my coworker. What's wrong with you people?"

"Dave Batista?" Gil Hardy said.

"Yes, the big guy who you said gave Randy what he deserved," Matt said.

"Oh, you mean Cheeney!" he said.

"What?" Dave said, shocked. He never heard anyone call him that before.

Gil shrugged. "Me and my buds don't remember most of your names. We've got Shawn Michaels, Triple H, the Undertaker, and Randy Orton down, a few others, and our boys, of course, but that's about it."

Matt smiled sheepishly. "It's embarrassing, really. He calls Jericho the Queen, Ted and Cody Henchman... singular, mind you... Kane's been called Fire Guy, Bald Stalker, and That Whats His Name who the WWE Used to Foreshadow my Future Relationship Issues."

"Well, you have to admit, a storyline about Amy cheating on you, leaving you, and then marrying another wrestler..."

"I get it!" Matt said, "Dad, I know why you call him that. I'm not dumb."

"Oh, he says that, and he got grades and whatnot, but I swear Matt doesn't have brains where it counts. You didn't even call me to say you were leaving!" Gil slapped Matt on the back. "Thank you for bringing the prodigal son back. One minute..." Gil opened the door. "JEFFREY! Jeffrey, Matthew's here! And he brought Cheeney!"

"Why Cheeney?" Dave asked.

Matt shrugged. "When he and his friends get high, they make up some funny stuff. You know about weird stuff when you're high... Jeff's here?"

"Yup," the Legend said, "Dropped by to see me. He's filling up Lucas' bowl outside. He called, unlike you." The door opened, and Jeff said, "Who in the name of blue hair dye is Cheeney... hi Dave!" Jeff waved. "Mattie, where have you been? How'd you find Dave?"

"I wasn't lost!" Dave said.

"I've been with Dave," Matt said.

"All week?" Gil said.

"Yes." Gil and Jeff exchanged a look, at Matt said, "What?"

"We know," Jeff said, his voice having that omniscient tone.

"We know what?" Matt asked.

"Well, you two've been fucking," Gil said.

Dave's eyes popped. What? How did he so nonchalantly say that? Jeff chuckled and said, "Don't deny it, Davie. Matt hasn't called either of us. We know."

"I, uh..." Matt laughed at Dave's inability to answer to that.

"Are you trying to deny that you're fucking my child?" Gil asked.

"Dad, stop!" Matt said, "You're embarrasing him!"

"What? I'm just saying."

"Jeff, stop him," Matt said.

Jeff shook his head. "I'm having too much fun watching Dave squirm."

Matt sighed. "Alright then, fine. If you must know, I've been cornholing Dave the last week. Continuously. We haven't ate or slept, and you two are interrupting the first non sexual encounter we've had since his injury. Happy?"

"Matt!" Dave shouted, while Gil and Jeff laughed. Obviously, the Hardys had a different set of boundaries than his family.

"Chill, Dave," Jeff said, "It's all cool."

"Matt and I haven't had sex, and it's not all cool because he doesn't even know my name. Why Cheeney?"

Gil shrugged. "Weed does strange things to people."

Matt shook his head. "Who wants lunch?" They all agreed to have lunch together, and Dave just shook his head. He really wanted to know where the hell Cheeney came from. When they got back to DC, Dave was definitely going to make Matt pay for this.

But hey... Matt did try to warn him.

**********

After lunch, Jeff decided they had to play a game. He took out four post its and passed them out. "Write a famous person's name on the index card, and then put it on the forehead of the person on your left."

"Jeff," Matt said, "Really?"

"Come on. I have to get back on the road soon, and you're going to go back to 'cornholing Dave'-" he made finger quotes, "Like we believe Dave's the bitch, brother- so what could one little game hurt?"

Matt sighed. "Fine, whatever." He wrote Jimi Hendrix on his card and stuck it on his father's head. Gil wrote down Christopher Reeve and put it on Jeff's. Dave put a post it on Matt's head, and then Jeff put a post it that said 'Bert from Sesame Street' on it.

"Jeff!" Matt shouted, as Gil started laughing.

"What?" Dave said.

"I'm so proud of you, Jeffrey," Gil said, patting his shoulder.

"Don't encourage him," Matt warned.

"What?" Dave asked. Matt pulled the post it off of Dave's head, and Dave said, "What did he write?"

"Forget it," Matt said.

"Bert," Gil said, "As in, Bert and Ernie, Cheeney." Dave blushed. "It'd be funny if you wrote Ernie on Matthew's post it."

"How do you remember children's TV character's names, but not mine?" Dave asked.

"Weed does crazy things to people," Gil shrugged.

"You said that, but I still have no idea why you call me Cheeney completely sober."

"And I have no idea how you could touch Matt completely sober," Jeff said. Matt stood up, saying that's it, and began chasing Jeff, who ran. "DADDYYYYYY! HE'S GONNA KILL ME!"

"Again?" Gil said, "Sheesh, I thought this was over." Gil got up and began chasing them, and Dave was left there, stunned.

"Cheeney? What the fuck?" Dave laughed. "Maybe when Matt says don't go somewhere, he has a reason." He shook his head. The Hardys were totally insane. What had he gotten himself into?

**Reviews deeply appreciated**


	8. Insanity

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**Once again, I know nothing of their real lives. I have no idea if Matt or Dave can do or have done anything I say they've done. And I don't really care... welcome to fanfiction, folks. Once again, thank you all, readers and reviewers, and this is day eight.**

**Day Eight Continued: Insanity**

**"**Well?" Matt asked, tapping his toe. Jeff was caught in a trap, and was now in a net on a tree in Matt's yard. Jeff tried to escape Matt's anger, but he didn't know that Matt booby-trapped the yard.

Dave and the Legend stood a safe distance away, suddenly afraid of pot holes with leafs over them, to cover up what they actually are, and bear traps. Dave was wondering if he actually wanted part of this family.

One look at Matt told him the answer: YES.

"Well?" Matt asked, "You have something to say?"

"Alright! I'm sorry I made fun of you and your new butt buddy. Happy?" Jeff asked.

Matt shook the net, making Jeff squeal. "Say it right!" he shouted.

"Alright! Matt, I'm sorry I made fun of you and Dave. I should be kinder to guests, especially in your house. And I will not use the term butt buddy, because you get anal over it. HAPPY?" Jeff looked up. "Daddy, make him let me go!"

"Matthew, what's with these traps?" Gil asked.

"I knew I'd have to catch Jeff in one eventually," Matt said, "Now, Jeff, come on."

"Just let me go!" he yelled, shaking the net.

"How about I just leave you hanging here?" Matt asked.

"YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT!" Jeff yelled, "You wouldn't... would you?"

"Want to try me?" Matt asked, almost sadistically. Dave wouldn't admit it later... but it was then how he wondered how Matt was like in bed. Would that mean streak show up? (Not that Dave would mind...) Would Matt play the submissive, was he a more dominant guy, or would they struggle to share the top spot? Was he loving or rough?

He really wanted to know. From firsthand experience.

"DADDY, MAKE HIM LET ME GO!" Jeff shouted.

"I don't want to end up in a trap, Jeffrey. That's all on you, son."

Jeff turned to Dave and put on the begging eyes. "Please, Dave, tell Matt to let me go. Please."

"I'm having too much fun watching you squirm," Dave said smugly, echoing what Jeff said earlier.

"SOMEBODY HELP ME! MATT'S INSANE! HELP!"

"Hey, Dave?" Matt asked, "Want to get some revenge?"

"Sure," he said. Matt walked over and lead Dave around the booby traps. Gil was too busy laughing at Jeff to do anything.

"Go ahead," Matt said.

"If you had a heart, you wouldn't," Jeff warned him.

"I guess I don't have one," Dave said. He grabbed the net and shook it roughly. Jeff started squealing again, and Matt and Gil laughed harder.

"Dave, you ish SOOOOOOOO mean!" Jeff cried out.

"This is me not caring," Dave said, "Hey, Matt, want to play tetherball?"

"Love to." Matt went on the other side, and he punched Jeff, making the net swing to Dave. Dave hit it back to Matt, and Matt hit it back to Dave.

"NO! STOP! I'M SORRY! STOP!"

"You've had enough?" Matt asked.

"YES!!!"

"Not you, Dave." Matt grinned. "Well, are you done beating Jeff?

"No." They continued, and all Gil did was laugh.

"YOU'RE ALL EVIL VILLIANS FROM HELL WHO HATE BABIES AND PUPPIES AND SLUSHIES!" Jeff yelled.

Neither of them cared.

Eventually, Matt pulled Jeff down and he and the very upset Charismatic Enigma walked back to his house. Jeff wouldn't even look at Dave. They walked up to the Legend and Jeff said, "You watch. When you bastards step foot on my property, I'm going to get you. No, the man eating Lawn Gnomes I'm going to buy are going to get you. And the man pecking pink flamingo. And my Cerberus."

Matt looked at the Legend, who shrugged. "We saw a Hercules movie on Sy fy earlier," he said.

************

As Matt set up dinner, Dave came into the kitchen. "Go back there with Dad and Jeff," Matt said.

"I'd rather not stay with your insane family."

"Hey, you proved today you're JUST as insane!" Matt said, pointing the spoon he was using at Dave.

"Your brother pushed me to it!" Dave said. "I am not as insane as they are."

"We're all insane, Dave." Matt said kindly, "It's only the ones that pretend they're not who are TRULY cuckoo."

Dave laughed and then said, "What're you making?"

"Spaghetti."

"Mmm." Dave walked up to Matt and wrapped his arms around his waist. "Sounds delicious."

"Please don't start anything while I'm cooking," Matt said, in a mock serious tone.

"But you're so irresistible..." Dave kissed his shoulder, then moved higher up his neck.

"Not now, Dave," Matt said, but he didn't sound as resolute as he sounded before.

"You sure?" Dave nibbled his neck and pushed him closer. "Because it looks like you want more..."

"DAD! I knew Matt was the bitch!" Dave and Matt turned around and saw Jeff there with a video camera. "Matt cooking like a housewife and Dave trying to get some action like the man... oh God, this is going on my myspace."

"Jeff," Matt said, sighing, "It's not recording."

Jeff looked at the camera and saw Matt was right. "Damn you bastard!" Jeff stomped. "Ah well. At least I know Mattie's Cheeney's little bitch boy now." Jeff looked at the pot. "...I'm still getting some, right?"

"At this rate, you're lucky to keep your face!" Matt retorted. Jeff left, and Dave smirked at him.

"Where were we?" he asked.

Matt hit him with the spoon. "Fuck off, I'm cooking for you. Stop distracting me. Now go. Shoo."

Dave walked away, grumbling about how he'd like to kill Jeff Hardy. Matt laughed. Dave was going to get along with his family just fine, it seemed.

************

As soon as Jeff and the Legend were gone, Matt slumped on the sofa. "Last time I'm bringing you here, Cheeney," Matt said.

Dave laughed and sat next to him. "Your dad invited us over his house to watch Night of Champions in two weeks."

Matt shook his head. "Nuh uh. No way. We are not going to watch a pay per view with him and his friends. They always get high."

"Then maybe I can find out what's the deal with Cheeney," Dave said. He poked Matt's belly. "Hey, we had fun."

"But I'm exhausted."

"Yeah, me too." Dave then pushed Matt into laying down. Matt lie there, shocked but not upset. "You know, I'm going to finish what I started in the kitchen."

Matt laughed and, suddenly, Dave was on his back, and Matt was the one on top of him. Dave wasn't expecting it, but he liked it. "I think I'm going to start some games of my own." Matt taunted. He began kissing Dave's neck, and Dave instantly became putty in his hands. Dave grabbed Matt's sides, egging him on. Then, Matt stopped.

"What the hell?" Dave asked.

"We can't."

"Why?"

"We're being watched." Dave looked up, instantly ready to jump into action, but then noticed who was doing the watching. It was Matt's little Lucas, watching curiously. As Matt grabbed his bag, Dave looked at Lucas angrily.

"You know, cock blocking's not very nice," he said, "You've had him for a long time. Can't I get a few minutes with him?"

The look in Lucas' eyes said no. It was as if he knew that Dave was going to take his Daddy back with him to DC. And Dave thought the dog was a little too smart for him.

"Alright, he's yours," Dave said. After which Lucas ran up to Matt and began playing with him. "But later tonight... he's all mine."

**Reviews deeply appreciated**


	9. Teases

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**Once again, I know nothing of their real lives. I have no idea if Matt or Dave can do or have done anything I say they've done. And I don't really care... welcome to fanfiction, folks. Once again, thank you all, readers and reviewers, and this .**

**Day Fourteen: Teases**

Dave rubbed his eyes and looked down at his Mattie. He smiled- that was his Mattie, and nothing could change that. The past week was so amazing. Almost too good. Like if the universe decided he deserved a reward for something.

There was one small- just small- thing that kept it from being perfect. And that was the fact that Matt didn't let him do his work outs. Oh, Matt didn't stop him from lifting weights, or running- but he made him run less, and lift less weights. Apparently, he thought Dave was 'overexerting' himself.

Now, he loved Matt. But he didn't need Matt to tell him what was healthy for him. While there was a bunch of things he was sure he needed Matt for now (like sleeping. Who would've thought he wouldn't be able to sleep unless Matt was asleep against him? It was weird, and something he learned a while ago. Maybe because Matt's really like a giant teddy bear when he's asleep?), being a life coach wasn't one of them.

He got up and quietly got dressed in workout clothes. He smiled at Matt's asleep body one last time and began his workout. With his 420 barbell. The one he usually used. He lifted it for a while, taking a few moments to get used to the weight. Matt had him on the 250 for so long that he almost forgot how to lift the 420.

"Really? I oversleep for ten minutes and you do this?" Dave put down the barbell and looked up at Matt, who was crossing his arms.

Dave shrugged. "This is my workout."

"You're not ready for that," Matt said.

"I think I am."

"Dave, I'm telling you from experience. I tore a muscle because I bit off more than I can chew." Matt walked over. "I don't want to see you do the same."

Dave shook his head. "No offense, but... we're different people."

Matt shook his head. He made the same arguments to someone who tried to help him before. It would all lead up to Dave hurting himself- or setting himself up for pain when he returned to the ring. Then, Matt had an idea. This would keep Dave from killing himself. Well... if it didn't, nothing will. "Get up," Matt said, pulling him up.

"What're you doing?" Dave asked.

"You are going to do sit ups," Matt said.

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are." Matt smirked. "Do them."

"Give me one good reason," Dave said, smirking back.

"If you do them, you'll get something in return," Matt said.

Dave raised an eyebrow, looking at Matt curiously. "What's going through that scary mind of yours?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," Matt said.

"Yes, I would. That's why I asked."

"Well... why don't you do them and see?" Matt asked. Dave shrugged and led Matt to where he did sit ups and push ups. Then, he sat down and watched Matt as he did the sit ups, waiting to see what Matt had in store for him.

When Dave did 20, Matt pulled his shirt off. Dave looked at him, more confused than before. What was Matt thinking? But then he looked at Matt, and, well, he wanted to see where this was going.

"Keep on or you won't get the rest of it," Matt said, "Do sixty."

"You're a slave driver," Dave said.

"No, this is strictly a quid-pro-quo thing. You do something, I do something. Now... do sixty," Matt said.

Dave grumbled and continued doing the sit ups. Once he reached forty, however, his mind stopped working- Matt pulled off his pants. _Oh, I get it... how fast can I do twenty more? _He couldn't get the idea of Matt naked out of his head, so he went back to work, struggling to do twenty as fast as possible.

Once he was done, Matt pulled off his boxers and stood there in his full naked glory. Dave stood up as Matt said, "Was that so bad?"

"Not at all," he said. He walked over to wrap his arms around Matt, but Matt grabbed his arms.

"Nuh uh." Matt shook his head. "No touching. Your reward was me taking off the clothes... no one said anything about you touching me."

"Are you serious?" Dave asked.

"Very."

"Come on..." Dave tried to wrap his arms around Matt again, but Matt pushed away. He grabbed his clothes off the floor and began walking out. "Matt, you can't be serious."

"I already told you... I so am."

"But that's... not fair!" Dave protested, following him, "You can't let me see how beautiful you are and not let me have you."

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't play fair?" Matt shook his head. "Silly Dave. You're so cute when you beg, but..." He smirked. "I can so let you see me and then not let you have me."

Dave stopped walking, training his eyes on his boyfriend's rounded ass. "That's how we're going to play it? Well, I can play too."

Dave didn't do anything to Matt at all the rest of the day. He didn't touch him at all. But when he fell asleep on the couch during the late night movie, Dave saw his chance. He carried Matt up to his room and laid him on the bed. Then, he went looking around the house until he found some duct tape.

Matt's eyes fluttered open as he felt Dave's lips on his collar. He was tired, so he moved to push him off... but his hands were tied behind his back. Matt pulled against it, but his hands remained together. "What are you up to, Dave?" Matt asked, looking at his older... and a lot more naked... lover.

"I think you know," Dave said. He grabbed Matt's pants and pulled them off. "I'm really tired of it being you who doesn't play fair. Don't I deserve a turn?"

"Maybe..." Matt said playfully. Dave grinned and pulled off his boxers, and then he crawled on top of Matt.

"So..." Dave said, "I can't touch you?"

"That's right," Matt said.

"Not even like this?" Dave asked, groping his legs. Matt chuckled and shook his head. "No?" Dave's hands went up further. "Not like this? Then what about... like this?" His hand found Matt's member and he began gently stroking him.

"No, Dave," he said, trying to keep his breath even, "You... _can't_... touch me."

"I dunno. Kind of sounds like you're telling me to touch you." Dave pretended to be thinking. "Actually... it sounds like you want me to be a little more rough." Suddenly, Dave's hand wrapped around Matt's length and he began pumping him. Soon, Matt's entire control was gone. He was arching off the bed, towards Dave, body begging for Dave to finish.

Dave pulled his hand away and said, "Well, I can tell when someone doesn't want me to touch them. Sorry for bothering you."

Matt stared at him. "You're evil."

"I learned from the mad genius." Dave said, smiling at him. Suddenly, without warning, Matt's legs were around Dave's chest. Completely caught off guard, Dave did nothing but watch as Matt pushed up, pushing their erections against each other. Dave groaned- damn, he wasn't expecting that.

Matt continued pushing against him, and Dave realized too late what Matt was doing. Closer to the edge than Dave was from the hand job, Matt released all over Dave. He smirked. "Yeah, you can't touch me."

"Wait a minute..." Dave said, "How did you get in control of this situation?"

"Like that," Matt said, "Please keep up, Dave." Dave shook his head, and Matt started to unwrap his legs from Dave's midsection, but Dave held them still.

"Where do you think you're going?" Dave asked. As one of his hands firmly pushed Matt's thigh in place, the other was going to work on Matt's hole, preparing him for what was going to happen next. As he worked Matt into a looser state, Matt got hotter and hotter- and right about now he needed Dave.

Once Dave realized that, he pulled his fingers away and put Matt in a more comfortable position. He lay Matt down and said, "I love you so much, you little tease."

With one hard thrust Dave was inside, feeling Matt's tight muscles contract around him. "Fuck," he said, trying not to release then and there. He held himself still, listening to Matt's labored breathing. "Come on," Matt said.

"Holy shit, Matt," Dave said, waiting for them both to be relaxed. Once they were, he picked up the rhythm, and soon was slamming hard against Matt's body. He bent forward and pressed his lips against Matt's, loving the feel of Matt kissing him back. Slowly, his hand snaked down south and he closed it around his cock.

Matt wailed as Dave pushed him further and further into the ned. He could feel Dave's hand as it roughly pumped him again, trying to bring him to his second completion that day.

"I'm close baby," Dave growled into his ear. "Come with me."

"Ohhh... yeah," Matt screamed.

Matt's back arched with the force of his second orgasm. Dave slammed hard against him over and over as his own orgasm raged through him. At last, they fell to the bed in a sweaty heap.

"You're lucky I like you," Matt said, "I wouldn't let anyone else do that."

"You're still the one tied up, sweetheart," Dave said, "I still have a little more control than you do."

"You really think so?" Matt asked, "What makes you think I didn't want you to do that?" And, as the thought hit Dave, he cursed.

"Did you just manipulate me into that?" Dave asked, "Be honest."

All Matt did was smirk.

**Reviews deeply appreciated**


	10. Fools in Love

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**Have fun, pals. The next few chapters... which will be the last few... are completely random and have almost no tie to each other except for the fact that they're happening during the time Matt and Dave were on injury... just like the last chapters. The last chapter will be Matt coming back from injury... I have no idea how far off that is. Not very far, anyway. So, thanks for reviewing, suscribing, alerting, and reading, and... enjoy.**

**Day Fifteen: Fools in Love**

"Wake up."

Dave shook Matt, who shook his head. "Nuh," Matt said, digging his face into the pillow.

"What's the matter... I hurt you last night?" Dave asked.

"Pfft. Git over yerself," Matt murmured. "Ah wanna sleep." Dave laughed; Matt's twang, for some reason, was deeper.

"I think I might have," Dave said.

"Ah've given... an' gotten... worse," Matt yawned, "Go away."

"From who?" Dave asked. Matt didn't answer. "From who?" he repeated. Matt still didn't answer. "Matt?" He poked him, and Matt opened his eyes and glared at him.

"When did you become a morning glory?" Matt asked.

"It's from trying to keep up with you."

Matt sighed and looked over at Dave's bedside clock. "Dude, it's six thirty."

"I'm aware."

"No wonder I still want sleep." Matt sat up and smiled. "What's got you up this early?"

"How about we talk about your earlier statement?" Dave asked, "Gotten worse... from who?"

"Do you really want to have this conversation?" Matt asked, squeezing his knees to his chest.

"Yes."

"You know they were before this, right?"

"THEY?"

"Woah!" Matt put his hands up. "It's only two people, okay? Relax."

"Alright." Dave breathed. "Who?"

"Well..." Matt blushed, "There was that one time I was having a fling with Kevin..."

"Kevin?" Dave said, eyes widening, "As in, Kevin Nash?"

"Hole in one."

"You and Kevin."

"Yes." Matt stared at him. "Why is that so hard to believe?"

"It's Kevin Nash," Dave said. He met the guy a few times, through Hunter and Shawn. He and Matt were... well, he would never had thought of them together.

"Kevin was a great guy. And we only went out a few times. It was really just experimenting... I was younger, he was one of the most influential guys in the back... we both knew we weren't in love or anything."

"And the other?" Dave asked.

"How about this?" Matt asked, "You tell me who else you were with besides me, and then I say the second."

"Okay," Dave said, "Randy."

Matt hit him. "No fair! Everyone knew about you and Randy!"

"Mr. Never Plays Fair himself, complaining about me being unfair?" Dave said, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, but it's fun when I don't play fair. When you don't, it's just mean." Matt crossed his arms. "I'm not telling."

Dave poked him. "Tell."

"No."

"Tell." Dave poked him again.

"No."

"I'll toture it out of you." Dave warned, poking him.

"I thought you learned last night that I don't break... unless I've already planned to," Matt said, grinning.

"Then do it for me," Dave replied. He put his arms around Matt and said, "Come on, Matt... please? Please?"

Matt laughed. "Fine. But you're not allowed to laugh at me."

"Could it be any weirder than you and Kevin?" Dave asked. Matt nodded. "It can't."

"It so can." Matt assured him.

"Well, tell me," Dave said. Matt leaned over and whispered the name in his ear. Dave's eyes widened. "No!"

"Yes," Matt said.

"But... you and him... no way..."

Matt nodded. "We dated for nine months before schedule issues tore us apart."

"Nine months? But... no way..."

"You asked," Matt shrugged.

"I didn't even know you two hung out like that..."

"We were inseperable," Matt said, crossing his fingers, "I was sometimes his arm candy, he was sometimes mine... we took turns with it."

"Wow..." Dave shook his head. "You think you know people, and then it turns out they've dated someone like... wow." He poked Matt again.

"If you're about to ask who I've given it to..." Matt started, but Dave stopped him.

"Are you okay not topping?" Dave asked. "I mean, all the times we've done it, I've been on top..."

"Are you okay _bottoming?"_ Matt asked.

"Well... I've never..."

"Exactly." Matt smiled. "I'm willing to bottom for a while until you're ready to. It's fine either way. Besides, let's be honest here... I might bottom, but I'm definitely the dominant one in this relationship." Matt stood up and grabbed his shirt off the floor. "Where the hell are my boxers?"

_Heck, it's true. Who am I to deny it? I'm Matt's. _Dave whistled and picked up Matt's underwear, which was on his side of the bed. Matt turned around and his smile grew. "Thanks." Matt took his underwear and kissed Dave. Dave pulled Matt onto his lap and began kissing him back.

"So," Matt said, breathing in deeply, "Who else have you been with?"

"...hey, it's breakfast time!" Dave pushed Matt gently off of him and went downstairs.

"You're not going to avoid this!" Matt shouted.

"Try me!"

Matt shook his head. "He still hasn't learned..."

Before the end of the breakfast, Dave admitted that he had relationships with Candice and Oscar, and a short lived fling with Melina. And this was even before he poured the milk into his cereal.

***************

"Am I going to have to take off my clothes every time we work out?" Matt asked, pulling his shirt back on.

"Yes," Dave answered, "Naked Matt is always preferred to Clothed Matt."

"Can't you just do some push ups instead of trying to kill yourself constantly?" Matt asked.

"Why should I do for free what I can do to see Naked Matt?" Dave asked.

"You see me naked for free. Every night." Matt reminded him.

"Then I'm the worst deal maker ever," Dave said.

"Probably."

Dave shrugged. "Whatever. There's no such thing as too much Naked Matt."

"When did Naked Matt become his own person?" Matt asked, "I could swear Clothed Matt and Naked Matt were the same person."

"No, sweetheart. Naked Matt is the most awesome guy ever, and Clothed Matt is his evil twin that I have to put up with most of the time, because Clothed Matt bullies Naked Matt and makes him hide for most of the day," Dave answered, getting into the game.

"How is Clothed Matt evil?" Matt asked.

"Because he bullies Naked Matt and is never naked himself," Dave said, "By allying himself with such an evil like clothes, he is thus evil."

Matt shook his head and said, "What did I do to you? God, I've made you just as crazy as me."

"No, you still take the cake," Dave said, "At least I'm not random."

"Sure. Hey, want to go to the movies?"

"And he strikes again." Matt got up, to go find a newspaper and check showing times, but Dave reached out and grabbed his arm. "One moment."

"What?" Matt asked.

"You know I love you, right?" Dave asked.

Matt kissed Dave softly before pulling away. "I wouldn't still be here if I thought you weren't. You know I love you too, right?"

Dave nodded. "Even when you're at your most manipulative, I know."

Matt looked around for a paper, and shouted out, "Any preference to genre?"

"Doesn't matter, as long as I'm watching it with you."

**The Kevin thing came from reading Dark Kaneanite's profile... I saw it, and laughed, and decided to add it. And I'm not telling who the other person was.**

**Reviews deeply appreciated**


	11. Two Victories

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**Random as shit, I know... but that's what I promised. Can't say I don't deliver. **

**Day ????(We really aren't keeping track anymore): Two Victories**

It was quite possible that Matthew Moore Hardy was the meanest person on the planet.

Another workout, another round of 'Dave can't touch'. And Dave was wondering if this exercise for freebies of his boyfriend naked was even worth it. If Dave got aroused after every workout, wasn't it sort of counterproductive?

"Matt!" Dave shouted, "Just once. One time."

"No," Matt said, pulling on his shirt, "If I give in once, then it'll be everyday. I'm kind of mad I have to take off my clothes just to get you to cooperate."

"I'm sorry if I'm a guy who likes feeling the burn," Dave said, "And if I'm giving that up, I think I deserve something."

"You deserve another five months on injury," Matt said, rolling his eyes. He reached for his pants, but Dave snatched them, along with his underwear. "Ha ha, very funny. Give them here."

"I don't think so," Dave said, holding the clothes away, "You want them back, you earn them."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me." Dave grinned and sat on his couch. "Earn them."

"Look, I kind of want to get my own workout started..."

"Then earn them." Matt crossed his arms, but Dave just watched him smugly. Did he just get one up on Matt Hardy? No, he couldn't get cocky. That's how Matt suddenly turned the tables on you and next thing you know, your carefully laid out revenge plan turns out to be all part of Matt's grand scheme.

It was kind of upsetting, actually, thinking about how devious Matt actually was.

Matt sighed and straddled Dave. "Please?" he asked, "Come on, give me my clothes."

"This is a start..." Dave said, definitely liking the position. Matt shook his head.

"Sometimes, I think you never learn." Matt stood up and, somehow, his clothes were in his own hands now. Dave looked from his hands to Matt, trying to understand what voodoo powers he had.

"How did you..."

"You were so blinded by booty, I swear I could've done anything to you," Matt said, "I could've gave you a shot and you wouldn't have noticed." And that was obviously point one million to Matt, because he was right. Damn Matt's butt.

Dave shrugged. "What can I say? It's a nice ass."

"I'd say so." Matt turned around and Dave looked up, seeing Hunter Hearst Helmsley at the doorway. Dave immediately stood up, grabbed Matt, and pushed him into his body, blocking the view from Hunter.

"Oh, calm down," Hunter said, "It's a compliment. One I've given the kid plenty of times in the past."

"Go into the other room so he could get dressed," Dave snapped.

"Dave," Matt said, his face mostly in his chest, "It's not like he or any other guy in the locker room hasn't seen me naked before."

"I don't care. Hunter, other room."

Hunter grumbled and walked into the other room. Dave watched the door until he could no longer see him, and then he heard a small voice. "You're... squishing me..."

"Sorry." He let go of Matt, who hit him with his pants before putting them on. "What was that for?"

"For being weird!" Then, Dave hit Matt. "What was that for?" he asked.

"For being weird the whole time you were here!" They started hitting each other over and over again, not stopping until they heard a shout.

"How long does it take him to put on pants?"

Dave and Matt laughed then, forgetting the little slap battle that just took place between them. They began walking to the other room, and, before they went in, Dave slapped Matt's ass. Matt was about to retaliate, but Dave was already in the room before he could.

Dave mentally gave himself a point. Although Matt already had hundreds, Dave took the little victories he could.

*********************

"So," Hunter said, "When did this happen?"

"When did you forget how to knock?" Dave asked.

"When you showed me where you hide your spare key, dummy." Hunter laughed. "Silly Dave." He turned to Matt. "So, Matt, when did this happen?"

Matt shrugged. "A few weeks ago."

"And now my boy's bumping uglies with a Hardy." Hunter clapped a hand onto Dave's shoulder. "Congratulations, you're now a man."

"I'm older than you," Dave reminded his friend.

"By like, a few months," Hunter replied, "And besides, in wrestling years, you're nine. I'm seventeen. Thus, I'm older than you. Heck, even Matt's older than you."

"True," Matt said, "I'm fifteen. Dave, you're practically a baby."

"You know that makes you a pervert?" Dave asked.

Matt shrugged. "I've made my peace with that." After a quiet, Dave started the conversation again.

"So," Dave said, "What brings you here, Hunt?"

"Well," Hunter said, "I was in the neighborhood and I'd thought I'd drop by for a little visit, ask how things are going." Dave glared at him, not believing the story. "Really, I'm here to check on your status, when you'll be ready to return. Honest."

Still not fully believing the story, Dave said, "You could've called."

Hunter sighed. "Alright, I admit it. Jeff said you two were together and I needed to see it for myself. By the way, Randy owes me fifty... he swore that there was no way in hell that it was true."

"Why?" Matt asked.

Hunter shrugged, "Maybe has something to do with the fact that you two are a total mismatch. I mean, come on. Look at Dave's previous dating record. And yours! I mean, I still remember those days on the road when you and Kevin practically broke the bed in every hotel we went to..."

"Oh yeah, like the fact you and Stephanie we're going at it like rabbits had nothing to do with it?" Matt shot back.

"Touche, pal. If Taker and Shawn were on the same floor, I'm sure we would've destroyed the ground beneath us." Hunter grinned. "Good times, good times. Anyway, what were we talking about?"

Dave shook his head. "And look at him, acting innocent," Hunter said, "You had to hear him fucking Rey. I could SWEAR he was going to break the poor little guy. And then he was with Candice... I thought we'd have to have a funeral. At least he got someone a little more _hardy_ this time."

"That was the lamest thing I've ever heard," Dave said.

"You're mad you didn't come up with it first," Hunter replied. "So, now that I'm here, any idea when you guys are coming back?"

Dave shrugged. "Dunno."

"I have an appointment on the twenty eighth," Matt answered.

"Awesome." Hunter stood up and walked to Dave's fridge. "Want anything?"

"Get me a beer!" Matt shouted. Dave gave him a look and said, "Who said you can go into my fridge?"

Hunter laughed. "I did, pal."

Dave shook his head. "He always pulls this routine with Randy and I, saying he made us and that he's our father and nonsense like that."

"What can I say? I did make them. And Dave's ridiculously lucky... you should see how I treat Randy, the missus, and the twins." Hunter pulled out two beers, and said, "Dave, want one?"

"Yeah," Dave said. In comparison to how Hunter treated Randy's little family, Dave was lucky. He even referred to himself as 'Grandpop Hunter' to the Orton twins.

Hunter gave Dave a bottle, and then Matt. They all popped the caps and then Hunter put his bottle in the air. "To... to mismatched couples everywhere," Hunter said, "May they survive, now matter how many people think they won't make it."

They started drinking, and then it hit Dave. "You have an appointment on the twenty eighth?"

"Yeah," Matt said.

"That means you have to go back to North Carolina around Night of Champions..." Dave said. Matt wondered where he was going with this, and he remembered the invitation his father extended.

"Oh fuck," he said, hitting his head on the table.

"Oh yes!" Dave said, pumping his fist, "I'm going to get to the bottom of this Cheeney business!"

"What the fuck is a Cheeney?" Hunter asked.

"Don't ask," Matt said. Dave gave himself another point, congratulating himself on winning two times in one day. He usually lost all the time, and now he won twice in one day? He nodded happily. He had to savor this; he probably was going to lose the next hundred times.

**Alright, there was a bit of an issue with my decision to not mention the other guy. I have been asked, begged, poked, and bargained with. So, I've decided to tell you... next chap. This chap, you guys get to guess. I guess I'll give you hints...**

**1) It's surprising, like Kevin Nash.**

**2) It's not Jeff, the Miz, Cena, Chris Jericho, Evan Bourne, or the Undertaker. (Addressing all the guesses already given)**

**3) The guy took Matt's place in a pay-per-view match. (not saying which)**

**4) I may have paired them together once before.**

**If you guess right... I dunno, you get digital cookies. Good luck!**

**Reviews deeply appreciated**


	12. Night of Champions

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**So, yeah. Gil's friends in this probably don't exist in real life. They do not exist beyond this chapter, and will, in all likelihood, never be mentioned again. Like Dave's cousins. I also respect Gil's actual beliefs, and am not suggesting he and his friends get high and bet on predetermined matches.**

**Here's the deal- I missed one of the clues. The pay per view was in 2007. If you think you know it, guess now, write it down, read the chapter, and then see if you were right on the bottom. Don't lie to me if you actually don't know it; I will know if you're lying. I'm not saying if any of the guesses were wrong, but I want you to keep in mind that this guy supposedly fucks rougher than Batista, and he's not commonly paired with Matt. In fact, I might have been the only one. Keep that in mind when you decide your final guess.**

**Day ????(We really aren't keeping track anymore): Night of Champions**

Matt stared at the door to his father's house, obviously thinking about being somewhere else. He turned to Dave and said, "Please, look, I'll give you a lap dance when we get to my house. Let's just leave."

"Come on, Matt. We already told Gil we were coming. And besides- you have fun with your insane family, don't you?"

"No," Matt said, "Especially not on nights like this."

"It's just a pay per view party," Dave said, "It can't be so bad."

"Really?" Matt's eyebrow raised as he knocked on the door to the house. Gil opened it, and a cloud of smoke billowed out of the house.

"Matthew, mah boy!" Gil wrapped his arms around Matt, squeezing him like if he didn't see him just a while ago. His twang was almost disgustingly pronounced due to his very high state. "And you brought Cheeney!" He pulled Matt in, and Dave followed to see a bunch of older middle aged men, all high as shit, sitting around the TV. Also there was Shannon, but his red eyes gave away his state.

"Look what I've got!" Gil sang out.

"Matt!" Shannon stood up and ran over, throwing his arms around his friend, "You have to try this thing I have over there, it's honey barbecque chips dipped in chocolate sauce, and it tastes like heaven..."

"I'll pass," Matt said, cringing at the sound of Shannon's snack.

"And Dave!" Shannon waved. "How are you, big guy? Want some chips?"

Dave shook his head as Matt went to say hi to the various men, each people he obviously knew. He learned their names were Tom, Rhett, Chuck, and James. Then, Dave noticed a large piece of paper on the wall, and he had to laugh- the high group of people were betting on the matches. Actually betting. There was a big pot in favor of 'Queen' and ???? defeating 'Henchman', and one for 'Stalker' defeating 'Frenchie', while the others were pretty well scattered. The Jeffro versus 'Fists' match was pretty split down the middle, the 'Chicken' versus 'Tubbs' match was more in Chicken's favor, Rey Mysterio versus other was in other's favor, and Orton, HHH, and Cena was a little in Cena's favor. The US champion's match and the Women's champion match weren't even on the board.

"Want some?" Tom asked, offering Matt the weed. Gil immediately snatched it and put it out of Matt's reach.

"That boy's not allowed to get high," Gil snapped, "Not in my house." After which he proceeded to take a long drag.

"Come on, Gilbie, the boy's over thirty," Tom said.

"Well, he has to stay clean on account of his job," Gil argued, "Do you want him to go back and lose his career? Eh?"

"Might as well, they had him kissing the pig lady's ass," he answered. Matt couldn't help but laugh, and Gil just pushed him away, taking another drag.

They all sat down on chairs, Matt sitting next to Dave, and Shannon stood up. "Alright," he said, "First is the tag team championship. Any bets on who'll be Chris' partner?"

"Chicken!" Chuck shouted.

"That dude who Jerry 'the King' Lawler beat up!" Tom offered.

"Gil's boy!" Rhett added.

"Jeff's in a match," Shannon answered, confused.

"Then the other one," Rhett replied.

"You mean me?" Matt asked, raising his hand in confusion.

"Yup," he said, "Good luck on your match." Matt decided to drop it and turned as he felt Dave tug his sleeve.

"They are aware the match is pre-planned, right?" Dave asked Matt.

"I don't know what they're aware of, quite honestly," he said, shrugging, "For all I know, they think you're a purple dragon."

When the Big Show came out, there was a unanimous cheer, even from the people who lost points for betting on the wrong partner: they were completely sure that 'Queen and ????' were going to win.

"Henchman didn't stand a chance," Gil said, shaking his head.

"Oh shut up, it's a travesty," Shannon said, "Priceless should be on top of the tag team division, not her royal highness and his lord fatness."

"We're highness," James said. He asked someone to pass him the weed, and soon, the smoke was so thick Matt and Dave probably got high off the fumes. They went through 'Tubbs' losing, a giant shrug when nobody even remembered that there was going to be a US champion's match, and bigger shrug when the Women's champion's match came on, and Gil emphatically grabbed the TV and shook it when Randy won. "This is bullshit!" he yelled, "Trips and Cena should SHARE it!"

"No, they shouldn't. That would be awkward and potentially dangerous," Rhett said, "Could you imagine trying to fit one belt around both their ginormous waists?"

"Ginormous isn't a word," Tom said.

"Can we go?" Matt asked, stunned by the older men.

"No, this is fun," Dave said, shushing Matt. Matt shook his head and went into another room, probably in search of reprieve from the insanity. After 'Stalker' beat 'Frenchie' and Rey beat 'other', the thing Dave was waiting for finally happened.

"Hey!" Tom shouted out, "Pass me Cheeney!"

Dave stared at him. "Do you want something from over here?" He looked around for what he wanted him to pass to him, but Tom shook his head.

"No, I want a Cheeney," Tom said. He got up and came back with an orange, which he immediately began to peel.

"Wait, that's a Cheeney?" Dave asked. Tom nodded. "An orange?" Tom nodded. "You're calling me an _orange_? But... no! Randy's the orange one; call him Cheeney!" Shannon started laughing at him, and then everyone joined in. "That's not funny!" He got up and marched to where Matt went.

He saw Matt sitting in the kitchen, eating Peanut Butter from the jar. Matt looked up and said, "This isn't what it looks like."

"Then what is it?" Dave asked. Matt didn't answer, but instead pulled out another spoon and kicked out a chair.

Dave sat down and they began eating the Peanut Butter together. Finally, Dave said, "...Cheeney means orange."

"What?"

"Cheeney means orange to these high bastards. As in, the fruit." Matt stared at him for a moment, and then he started laughing. "It's not funny!"

"But it so is!" Matt said, putting peanut butter in his mouth, "You wanted to know why my Dad and his friends called you Cheeney, and you didn't like your answer. That's so your comeuppance for making me come here."

They continued eating the peanut butter, and then Dave said, "So... can we leave?"

"Oh, I've been _waiting _to hear those words." Matt put away the peanut butter and they began to leave just in time to see Jeff beat CM Punk.

"No!" Gil shouted, "Shit, Fists, you were supposed to win!"

"Dad!" Matt shouted out, shocked.

"What? It's not like Fists was going to kill Jeffro. He just had to beat him so I could get my money." Gil shook his TV again. "Damn me for having such super sperm and making greatness."

Dave grabbed Matt. "Let's just go before we get infected."

"HEY! We don't have AIDS!" James called out. Matt just shook his head in astonishment and allowed Dave to pull him out. They ran to the car and got inside, Matt starting the car as quickly as possible and getting them out of there.

"...we don't have AIDS," Matt mimicked. Dave chuckled. "You know what, I think I must love you too much. The idea of getting into that family..."

"Who says you can have the privilege of becoming a member of the Hardy family?" Matt retorted.

"I bet I can make _you _say it," Dave said.

Matt snorted. "Hey, I might be the taker, but when it comes down to it, you're _my _bitch, Dave."

"Oh really?"

"Really."

"We'll see," Dave answered.

"Yeah, we'll see." The conversation ended there, but Dave was currently planning on finding a way to make Matt his bitch. Of course, before he took on the mad genius, he needed a foolproof plan.

Or maybe a miracle.

**Reviews deeply appreciated**

**PS- It's Stone Cold Steve Austen, friends. WHO GUESSED THAT, EH? Maybe I should've mentioned the match was a Beer Drinking Contest...**


	13. To Smuckers or Not to Smuckers

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**Yeah, random. I KNOW. But what did you expect after weed popped it's head in this story in four different chapters? And I'm not saying the Hardy family has no boundaries, or that Jeff's this odd, or anything about Kevin Nash. Don't know them. Wish I did; but don't.**

**Sometime at the End of July: To Smuckers or Not to Smuckers**

Dave was almost one million percent positive that he would never make a bitch out of Matt. What was he supposed to think? For the while in between Night of Champions and Matt's doctor's appointment, Matt made it abundantly clear that there was only one dom in their relationship, and it wasn't the one doing the fucking.

_Maybe I should just accept my shortcomings and just be happy that I'm with Matt at all_, Dave thought. After all, he did love him, and his dominating presence exhilarated Dave. But why should Matt get to be in control all the time without being the pitcher.

Dave was craving at least one victory over Matt in the bedroom. Just one. Was it so much to ask? He didn't think so.

The day of Matt's physical, Dave pondered the issue while they drove. He wondered if giving Matt a blow job in the middle of the intersection would work, but decided against it. He couldn't do something so intimate outside. He could hardly kiss Matt when they're outside, much less suck his dick.

But what if he got him tied up... oh right, he tried that, and Matt ended up being the dominant one there too. And he still had no idea how Matt managed that one. Well, dry humping was involved, but he still didn't completely understand how Matt went from being his tied up, helpless little victim to being completely in control.

Thinking too much about it would hurt Dave's brain, so he gave up.

When Matt went into the doctor's office, his phone rang from inside his jacket. Matt looked back at Dave and said, "Um... just tell whoever that is I'll call them back later, okay?"

Matt went inside, and Dave picked up his phone. "Hello?"

"You're not my brother," he heard the caller, Jeff, accuse, "What did you do with Mattie?"

"Jeff, it's me. Dave," he said.

"Oh, HEY CHEENEY!" Dave rolled his eyes, pretty sure that it was done purposely to annoy him. "So, how's life as Matt's bitch?" Jeff was being sarcastic, joking about Matt's comment from when they last saw each other, but Dave took it seriously. When he didn't answer, Jeff said, "Oh God no. I know your big as shit ass is not being fucked... is it?"

"Jeff, I'm not talking about my sex life with you..."

"IS THAT A YES? OH GOD, DAVE, NO! You're like, fucking ginormous! You're supposed to be pounding Matt through the mattress!"

"Good God Jeff, will you keep it quiet?" Dave whispered urgently, "What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What the hell is wrong with _you_, Dave? You're bigger than God, for chrissake! Why aren't you pounding Matt through the mattress?"

"Will you stop saying that?" Dave snapped, "For your information, I _am_ on top, okay? Now shut up and just tell me why you called!"

There was a silence, and then Jeff said, "You do know that being on top and being _on top _are two different things, right? Which one are you?"

"Jeff, I'm so not talking about this with you..."

"So you are my brother's bitch boy, is that it?" Jeff asked.

"I'm hanging up..."

"You are!" Jeff shouted, "Okay, look, you need help. I will help you, because oh God Dave, you cannot, and I mean, you cannot let Matt own you like this! You are the Animal, not the damn bitch boy!"

"Okay, Jeff," Dave said, rubbing his head, "I want you full aware of this. We are talking about me ravaging your brother."

"I'm not a retard, Dave, I know what we were talking about," Jeff said, "And it was more like you not ravaging my brother."

"And you're fine telling me to pretty much brutally have sex with Matt?"

"It's your destiny to brutally fuck your significant other, Dave."

Dave paused, unable to believe the audacity, and then said, "YOU, Jeffrey Nero Hardy, are telling me to dominate Matthew Moore Hardy, YOUR brother, and you have NO problem with that?"

"Oh, don't be such a prude," Jeff answered, "I don't actually want to see it happen, I just think you should be doing it, you being big as shit and all."

_Damn the Hardys. Have they no boundaries? _Dave shook his head in disgust and said, "Look, let's just end the conversation..."

"Not until we've got you a sure fire plan to make my brother submit to you," Jeff said. "Hmm... oh! Let's ask an expert!"

"Jeff, don't you dare add another person to this insanity..." Too late. The phone began to ring and Dave was kind of curious on what expert Jeff was bringing in. This was wrong on every level, but Dave was almost used to his jump-down-the-rabbit-hole-and-see-where-it-goes life.

"Hello?"

"Hi Kevin!" Dave's face went white. Jeff did not call Kevin Nash. Oh God, why hadn't he hanged up the phone already?

"Do I know you?"

"Of course you do, silly! It's me, Jeff Hardy! And Dave is also on the line."

"Dave?"

"Batista," Jeff confirmed.

"Hey?" Dave asked, more nervous than ever. Jeff called Kevin Nash, of all people. Someone who used to have sex with his boyfriend. Oh, this was not good.

"How did you get my number?" Kevin asked, sounding a little irritated.

"I stole it from Jay," Jeff answered.

"Oh... wait, how did Reso get my number?"

"Stole it from AJ, probably," Jeff replied, "So, how you been, Big Sexy?"

"Sleeping. You two better have a good reason..."

"We don't, so..."

"Dave, stop being shy!" Jeff scolded, "Kevin, Dave's dating Matt, and he needs pointers on how to make my bro submit."

Complete, almost horrible silence followed. Dave wondered if Kevin hung up, like he should have... but they got an answer. "Jeff, I haven't done that with Matt since... Um... when was that time he came to visit you and we all went out for wings with Scott, Jarrett, and AJ?"

"It was in late 2004, I think... wait, you fucked him after we got the wings?"

"Yep, but that's not the point..."

"I thought you two broke up when you left the WWF!" Dave said, wondering how long the relationship actually went.

"Yeah, but what's a break up to stop two friends from having some fun?" Kevin asked, "So, um, yeah, what did you want again?"

"You're going senile, old fart," Jeff snorted.

"Just tell me!"

"Dave wants pointers on how to make Matt submit," Jeff answered.

"I never said that!" Dave snapped. "Look, this call is dumb, immature, and really, really wrong. I'm sorry he bothered you, but we won't be needing that answer..."

"Smuckers. Caramel."

Dave stopped. "What?"

"You totally have to go with Smuckers caramel. Spread some on his body and he's yours to command." Kevin yawned. "He's a total sucker for Smuckers."

"Smuckers," Dave said, intrigued despite himself.

"That's right, but remember, caramel's best. He'll melt instantly." Kevin chuckled. "How is the firecracker, anyway?"

"He's doing fine, he's getting a physical now... Smuckers?"

"Yes, Smuckers. Well, I got to go. Jeff, never call me again at this hour."

"It's four in the afternoon!"

"THAT'S TOO EARLY!" Kevin hung up, and Jeff said, "Poor senior citizen. Doesn't have it like he us..."

"Got to go," Dave said, seeing the door open. He hung up the phone and pushed it into his jacket as Matt came out.

"Hey, guess what?" Matt said, smiling, "I've been cleared! All I need to do is call Vince, and we can schedule my return!"

"Cool," Dave said, forcing a smile, "I'm happy for you." _What if he knows what I know, and that I let Jeff and Kevin pull me into that crazy conversation? Oh God, what if he knows what I'm thinking... wait, I'm being paranoid. He's not that slick._ _Or is he? Oh God, I'm going to kill myself at this rate._

"Knowing Vince, I'm probably going to have to wait a week or two... are you okay, Dave?" Matt asked.

_HE KNOWS! _"Yeah, why do you ask?" Dave asked.

Matt stared at him, and then he wrapped his arms around Dave. "Look, it won't be so bad. You'll be cleared soon enough, so we won't be away from each other for so long. Besides, we'd still have, like, two weeks or so."

_Oh, he thinks... wait, yeah, Matt being cleared means Matt will soon leave me. I forgot about that. _Dave smiled and lifted Matt's chin, making him look at him. "I really am happy that you've been cleared," Dave whispered, "I... I know that you love wrestling, so how could I be resentful that you can go back?"

Matt smiled and kissed Dave on the cheek. "We'll make the most of our time, okay?"

Dave nodded, and wondered then if making the most of their time should include using caramel Smuckers. It would be wrong to use it; he heard that information from an old flame, and it couldn't be right to use it for his own gains. He shouldn't have even been talking to _Jeff, _of all people, about his and Matt's sex life, much less Kevin Nash. On the other hand, the idea of dominating things at least one was very, very tempting.

The dilemma: to Smuckers or not to Smuckers?

**Reviews deeply appreciated**


	14. Just Desserts

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**After this, one, two more chapters of randomness before I decide to end it. Thanks for reading, and onto what Dave decided to do with that information.**

**Just Desserts**

Dave walked through the aisles, feeling paranoid. He thought for sure someone would see through him and figure out that, acting on his boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's advice, he was buying caramel Smuckers to use on said boyfriend.

He grabbed a bunch of other stuff too- he told Matt he was going grocery shopping, and he couldn't go home empty handed, or without something that would need caramel Smuckers. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe he shouldn't do it.

But the idea of his boyfriend writhing and moaning under him was just too much to bear. The very picture was what finally made Dave decide to go through with this crazy scheme. But now he was afraid everyone who was looking at him was judging him, looking at him and seeing a crazy man.

"Excuse me?" Dave looked at the cashier in front of him, and he was holding out a pen and a paper. Dave took it and signed his name on it, the way he was taught to do with autographs, and handed it back. The cashier stared at it and said, "Sir, you were just supposed to sign on the dotted line."

Dave hit himself on the head- it was a receipt, not the kid asking for an autograph. "Um, sorry, I'm out of it," he said.

"Uh huh. Well, here's your card and um... well, this is beyond weird, so have a nice day." Dave took his credit card, blushing furiously as he ran out of the supermarket. He felt like a complete idiot, but at least he wasn't figured out. Now, he had to hope _Matt _didn't figure him out.

Heck, he thought for sure Matt saw through him. Maybe it's because he was so excited about being medically cleared that he didn't notice things he normally did. Or maybe he knew, and he was playing with Dave, letting him feel guilty while laughing behind his back! Matt was cruel enough to do such a thing...

"Dave?" Matt called out as Dave came inside.

"Yes?" Dave said nervously.

"You want chicken or pasta tonight?"

"You're cooking?" Dave asked. _He wouldn't be cooking if he knew, would he?_

"No, the stork's cooking. Come on Dave, don't be slow." Dave sighed with relief and pulled the bags into the kitchen, careful with the bag that had the Smuckers in it. He didn't want Matt to see it and have the surprise spoiled.

He went inside and saw Matt looking through the fridge, holding up a package of drumsticks and a half empty can of tomato sauce. Dave put the bags on the table and wrapped his arms around Matt. "Whatever you want to make, baby," Dave said.

Matt chuckled. "Baby? When did that become one of my pet names?" Matt turned around in Dave's arms. "Come on. Give me an answer; what do you want tonight?"

_You. _"Pasta, I guess," Dave said.

"Then pasta it is." Matt looked past him and said, "Do you need help putting those away?"

Dave shook his head. "Nah. I got it. You just work out or something, eh?"

Matt grinned. "I get it. This is a ploy to make me work up a sweat, isn't it?"

_Well, that's a side benefit. _"Sure," Dave said. He pushed Matt towards the doorway gently and began putting the stuff away, hiding the Smuckers somewhere where he could easily access it.

For once, he was going to win.

*****************

"Great meal," Dave said, rubbing his stomach. Matt smiled as Dave grabbed their plates and put them in the dishwasher.

"Thanks. Hey, do you want dessert or something?"

Dave went to the cabinet, pulling out the Smuckers and carrying it behind his back. "Yeah, that sounds good." He turned Matt's chair around, making Matt face him. Matt watched, confused, as Dave dropped to his knees.

"Um... what are you doing?" Matt asked.

Dave grinned, hands gripping the sides of Matt's pants and pulling them down. The boxers went next, pooling around Matt's ankles, making standing up a hassle. "Having dessert," Dave said. _Do it, do it..._

Dave popped the top of the Smuckers and poured some on his fingers. His smile grew as he saw Matt stare at the bottle in shock. Dave held up his hand to Matt. "Want some?" he asked.

Matt grabbed his hand and began licking the topping off of Dave's fingers, the rich taste mingling with the sharp, salty taste of skin. It was warm, and Matt savored the taste. Dave watched, entranced as Matt just let him do as he wanted.

Dave poured more of it onto his fingers and held it up to Matt. Matt licked it off, slowly tasting the concoction. Dave got more, but instead smeared it on Matt's lips, leaning over and sucking it off in a passionate kiss. Their tongues touched and shared the rich, sugary caramel.

Dave smeared some more on Matt's lips and they shared it again, licking and sucking at each others' mouths. Dave pulled away, breathless, and said, "Hands in the air." Matt did as he was told, letting Dave peel his shirt off. Dave threw it away before grabbing the Smuckers again, pouring it down Matt's chest and stomach. Matt laughed, but then he sighed as Dave licked the sticky topping from his skin.

Dave licked it all off, leaving a warm trail of wetness in it's place. He felt Matt trembling beneath him, his stomach muscles contracting inward, and he couldn't help but think this was a great idea.

Dave went lower, this time to Matt's cock. Matt watched as Dave licked the head, running his tongue around the swelling member in slow circles. The taste was intoxicating, and the way Matt reacted with a gasp, his eyes falling shut, made Dave even more eager to continue. He poured some more of the Smuckers onto his hand and smeared it up the stiffened shaft of Matt's cock, and all over the head. Matt opened his eyes and stared down at him, as Dave began licking it off.

Matt's soft moans were like pleas. Dave never thought he'd hear Matt like this, and damn if he liked it. Dave licked off every bit of the topping, then slid his mouth down over Matt's cock, taking it down his throat, his tongue caressing the underside of it as he went. The taste was wonderfully sensual with the caramel, and Dave loved it. He felt Matt's hand against his head, gently pressing, and he felt arousal course through his body.

He slid his mouth up and down on Matt's cock until his moans nearly became screams. Then he stopped and sat up again, wanting Matt to finish with him. "Wrap your arms around me," Dave said, and Matt did as he was told. Dave lifted him up and put him down on the table.

"You sure... here?" Matt asked.

"Well, I don't know about you, but I normally have dessert at the table," Dave joked. Matt smiled, and Dave took that as a sign to continue. Dave leaned down and kissed Matt's soft, full lips, applying gentle pressure to them. Once Matt began kissing back, Dave gently forced his mouth open and inserted his tongue. Matt met it with his own, the taste of his mouth all warm, tasting of the caramel.

As they kissed, Dave's fingers went lower, teasing Matt's entrance. Matt groaned in his mouth as he worked two of his fingers into Matt's ass, marveling at how soft and warm he was. He added a third finger and began exploring deeper, until Matt made a sound telling him that he found his spot. The sound sent a shot of arousal through Dave's body and he could no longer wait.

Dave pushed Matt's legs apart and, within seconds, Dave was pushing inside, feeling his boyfriend's warmth all around him. Dave slammed into Matt's body, more aroused than he ever was. Matt wrapped his arms around Dave's neck and wrapped his legs around Dave's waist, egging him on. And Dave, almost too hard to function, appeased the younger man.

Matt lost all thought and focus, no longer able to concentrate on anything other than the feeling of Dave inside him. He was ready to explode, so he pushed back at Dave, trying to make it go faster.

Driven by his and Matt's lust, Dave continued to thrust harder and moan louder, until he could feel his own body begging for release. With one last, powerful thrust, Matt cried out, his orgasm splashing onto Dave's chest. Dave buried his face into Matt's neck to quiet his own yelp of completion.

After a while, Dave got up, huffing and smiling at Matt. Matt smiled back. "So... guess I found your weakness," Dave said.

"Makes it fair, since I know yours," Matt whispered. Then, he laughed as Dave picked him up, carrying him upstairs.

***************

Around midnight, Matt tip toed into the bathroom, careful not to wake up Dave. The phone rang three times before he heard it pick up. "Hello?"

"You son of a bitch," Matt said.

A chuckle came from the other end of the phone. "I'd know that self righteous tone anywhere. What's up, firecracker?"

"Don't what's up me, Kevin." Matt rubbed his head. "Smuckers? Of all the things to tell Dave was my weakness, Smuckers?"

"I thought you'd like it," Kevin said, and Matt could imagine a grin on the big guy's face.

"Do you have any idea how long it took to make my body stop being sticky?" Matt asked.

"Oh, come on. Did you enjoy it or not?"

Matt shook his head in disbelief and amusement. "You haven't changed, Nash. All about fun, forget about the cleanup."

"Neither have you, firecracker. Seems like you still got a taste for the big guys." Kevin laughed. "I felt sorry for the guy, Matt. You have any idea how hard it is to keep up with someone as nuts as you? I had to tell him something. Poor guy's spirit would've been crushed if I said 'No, Matt has no weaknesses, you're never going to feel like a man again.' Though I must admit, I would've paid good money to see you act all submissive. Lord knows you never were with me."

"Ancient history, much like your birth," Matt said. When Kevin called him telling him that Jeff and Dave called him, asking about his 'sexual weakness', as Kevin called it, Matt was amused... until Kevin told him that he gave them a fake weakness, and then wouldn't tell Matt what it was. He said it should be a surprise. Matt decided to go along with it, pretty happy to do something to make Dave happy. Besides, it made him happy too... well, besides the clean up.

"Are you calling me old?"

"No, Nash, of course not," Matt snickered. Kevin made a noise before continuing.

"You know, it was good talking to you again, even if we were conspiring against your boyfriend. We should meet up again."

"Yeah, maybe we should," Matt said, "But I have a boyfriend to get back to. But couldn't you just say miracle whip? Much easier to wipe off."

"That's too normal for you, firecracker. See you around." Kevin hung up, and Matt stared at the phone, wondering how he ended up with such a cadre of crazy friends. Maybe because he himself was insane.

Matt tip toed back into the room, pushing his way into Dave's arm. Maybe giving up every once in a while wasn't such a bad thing, especially if it led to a night like that.

**Reviews deeply appreciated**


	15. The Last Day

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own the following wrestlers, or any of the events that actually happened on camera... or anything remotely recognizable, like Matt's twitter.**

**I respect the actual beliefs and sexualities of the following wrestlers.**

**Okay, unless I decide to do an epilogue, this is the last chapter, and it's a fluff-fest. I had fun writing this story, but hey, all things come to an end. On another note, my pal XxShawns Guardian AngelxX is hosting a Secret Santa fanfiction thing. If you want to be a part of it, just find the story on my favorites list and read the rules inside. This is going to be great, and some of the best authors in this fandom are signed up, so go sign up! Now that the plug's out of the way (I feel like DX should promote their book now), here's the chapter!**

**The Last Day**

_I never thought it was possible to miss a person before you even left them._

_-30 minutes ago from Tweetdeck_

Today was truly their last day together. Matt would have to fly down to meet with Vince tomorrow, and then Dave would be alone again. There was a time when the idea would have appealed to Dave, but that time was long gone. This was truly the best summer of his life, and it was all because he spent it with Matt.

Matt was probably his complete opposite; he'd never understand how Matt was able to find anything intriguing about the giant pencil, he would never be able to keep up with Matt's endless amount of energy or his devious mind, and he would never get how Matt's mind could be on something as innocent as music one minute and then jump to something morbid like how people would react if he died.

But maybe that's why he loved him so much; Matt livened up his life, kept him on his toes. It was an adventure a day with him, whether it was crazy relatives, brownies with drugs in them, or going bungee jumping at his cousin's place. And now his life was going to be dull again; Matt was going back to work, and he was still on the bench.

Dave decided he didn't want to work out on Matt's last day there. Which was funny, because this all began with Matt coming over to work out with him, start their recovery to peak physical shape. As a matter of fact, they did very little of that, compared to all the idiocy they did in between that.

Dave smiled as Matt came into the kitchen, still a little wet from his shower. Matt grinned and said, "I know that look. That's the look when Dave's planning something, and he's hoping I don't see through him."

"Well, yeah, but this time, you're not going to get it out of me," Dave said.

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

"And what makes you so sure?" Matt asked, eyebrow raised.

"Well, I'm pretty sure you love me, so I'm going to ask that you don't try to get it out of me, and hope you love me enough to honor my request." Dave and Matt stared at each other for a while, and Matt said, "Sure, why not?"

Dave grinned and wrapped his arms around Matt. "You do love me!"

"Only on Tuesdays," Matt joked, hugging Dave back, resting his head against Dave's chest. Dave kissed the top of his forehead and said, "So, I'm going to get ready, and then I've got a surprise for you. So, grab something to eat; we're not stopping for breakfast."

"A surprise? Sounds exciting." Matt smiled. "I've done my job here."

"You're not finished yet, Hardy boy," Dave said, "I don't think you'll ever be done here."

Matt just grinned in response.

**************

Dave and Matt got on the road about a half an hour after that conversation. A song Dave didn't know, _Even Flow_, was blasting through the car, but Matt liked it, so he was fine with it. Matt was singing the song pretty loudly, and Dave had to admit it was growing on him.

Eventually, they got to their destination: a Virginia public garden. Matt couldn't have grinned more widely if he wanted to. "How do you always manage to do that?" Matt asked softly.

"Do what?"

"Catch me off guard. Do... this." Matt couldn't suppress how happy he was with the plan. Dave just smiled and said, "You do it way more often than I do."

"Do not..." Matt started, but then Dave said, "You randomly showed up at my house, you somehow raped me when I had you tied up, you say random things that make no sense, you strip to get me to do sit ups..."

"Alright, alright!" Matt laughed, "I see your point."

Dave smiled. "And besides, this isn't the surprise, Matt. Or, should I say surprises?" Matt looked at him quizzically, and Dave just grabbed his hand, leading him inside.

"This isn't the surprise?" Matt asked.

"Nope."

"Then what is?"

"Matt," Dave said, mockingly, "What does the word surprise mean?"

Matt pulled his hand away from Dave and crossed his arms. "Don't patronize me, Dave."

"Get over it, Mattie, we've got two surprises for you." Dave took a hold of Matt's hand again and began pulling him. Matt just laughed, unable to even pretend he was mad at Dave; he was too curious about these surprises.

Matt became entranced with the trees and beds of flowers, just pointing out his favorite ones to Dave and telling him what they reminded him of. Dave couldn't help but choosing some favorites too; he liked the sunflowers, for some reason. They were halfway through the garden when Dave finally pulled Matt to a corner, showing him a bunch of trees.

"Wow," Matt said. Some were smaller, some were bigger, but they were all beautiful in his eyes. He walked on the path, noticing that they all had plaques in the front. Written there were all dedications: some were from the botanical society, trying to spread beauty, some were to educate about trees, and some were just dedicate to someone special.

Like the one Matt couldn't stop staring at: _to the guy who said the only monument he'd want is a shady tree. I love you Matt._

Matt didn't turn around when he felt Dave's arms around him; he just stared at the plaque, and the tree it corresponded to, only up to his neck at that time. "Is that for me?" he whispered.

"Unless there's another Matt who wants his monument to be a shady tree that I don't know about," Dave replied

"I don't know what to say," Matt said, staring at the tree.

"Then don't say anything." Dave wanted to see Matt's face, but chose instead to just let him look at the tree.

"This is the most thoughtful thing any one's ever done for me," Matt said, still filled with disbelief over the fact that Dave got that tree for him.

"It probably won't get too big in our lifetime, but one day, it will be. And people will read that plaque and know it was for you." Dave couldn't help but feel good; just Matt being happy made him happy. "Do you like it?"

"Stupid question of the year, Dave," Matt said softly. He turned around and kissed him, letting him know how much it meant to him. "This summer, I flew, I got my tree... Dave, I love you."

"Brings me to surprise number two." Dave reached in his pocket, and said, "Matt, this summer, I've done things I've never thought I'd do, and that's thanks to you. I..."

"That better not be what I think it is," Matt warned. Although he was sure he was in love with Dave, he definitely wasn't ready for that type of commitment.

It was a ring, but not the ring he thought it'd be. It was a keyring. Matt just laughed when he saw it, as Dave said, "I want you to think of my place as another home. Anytime you want to come over, come over. I certainly won't complain." Matt leaned on Dave, just looking at his tree, smiling. "I'm going to miss you," Dave whispered.

"It's only going to be a few weeks."

"Might as well be forever," Dave said. He looked at Matt and said, "Alright, you need to promise me a few things. One, you find time to update that damn Tweedle of yours thirty times a day, so you could budge in a moment to text me."

Matt chuckled. "Twitter, Dave."

"It's stupid anyway. Two, keep me updated on what's going on over there. I don't want to go back and find out the Divas are having orgies or something."

"That's ridiculous, Dave. The Divas aren't going to start randomly having orgies." Matt shook his head. "Anymore promises I need to make?"

"Yeah, one last thing." Dave leaned over and whispered in his ear. Matt smirked when Dave pulled away, and Matt said, "I don't need to promise that one. I was definitely going to do that."

"That's my Matt."

*****************

Matt's flight boarded at six thirty the following morning. They had to wake up at three to get there in time, and soon, a very tired Dave found himself saying goodbye to Matt. "Call me when you get there," Dave said.

Matt nodded. "Get some sleep, though. You don't look so good." Dave put on shades to hide the fact his eyes kept drooping closed; he was a mess this early in the morning. Matt hugged his older lover and said, "Thanks for everything, and I'll see you soon, right?"

"Right," Dave said. Now that he had a reason to hasten his rehabilitation, he had no doubt he'd be back sooner rather than later. The boarding call sounded, and Matt gave Dave one last hug before going towards his entrance gate. Dave watched Matt's back almost sadly, wondering what the hell he was going to do in that empty house of his.

He jumped as his phone vibrated against his thigh. He picked it up and saw he had picture mail. It was a picture of Matt with his tongue out, and, under it, it said one word: _smile. _Dave shook his head, but then his phone vibrated again. This time, Matt was pushing his nose up, like a pig snout, and it had the same message. He chuckled a little, and the phone vibrated a third time. The photo, that time, was of Matt puckering up to the camera, and the message was: _SMILE!!!_

Dave started laughing aloud, unable to hold it back. He could only imagine the smile on Matt's face, since he was in the plane by then. One last message arrived, but it was an ordinary text message.

_Did I make you smile?_

Dave sent back a message of his own: _Always._

**Reviews deeply appreciated**


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